January 11th

25 1 0

by hypocrite02

by hypocrite02

16:48 GMT
Hunger is a strange demon, a monster that literally feeds on you from the inside. I like to think that when my stomach rumbles- it's just applauding. I've done quite well today- about 100calories. Lettuce, cucumber, 7 pieces of pasta and two apples. I'm always fine during the day, it's after school and when it's dark that for some
reason I loose control of my reasoning and binge.

18:15 GMT
We're on the way to the food store, I'm going to buy myself some rice cakes because I've hit one of my goal weights! I ordered a new scale and I've lost 3kg in the past 3 days which is very good for me!

19:27 GMT
I went to the store... I brought crackers and cookies. I got home. I had some of the crackers and most of the cookies TBH. With Nutella!!! I'm practically contemplating how I should kill myself. I'm feeling so guilty but right now all I can think about is having more! It's a sickness, but I don't feel like I qualify to use an eating disorder as an excuse for all of my problems. I have the mindset but not the body.
Calorie count: 500ish

22:46 GMT
I haven't eaten since earlier. I haven't even craved. I want to try and teach myself some self control. Tommorow I'm not going to binge at all- for every time that I think or want to eat something that I don't have to (binge, chocolate, Nutella and cookies.) I will do 10 sit-ups and 10 jumping jacks.
I'm going to try and sleep because I only got 4 hours last night.

- Z