RL is typing... [TordEdd]

Conflicted

"Hello, Edd, I'm Annie Cox. It's very nice to meet you." An older woman with black hair held out her hand kindly, giving a warm smile. She sat on an office chair in nice clothes and quite a lot of makeup, with a clipboard on her lap, and her eyes crinkled a bit at the edges from her smile. Edd couldn't tell if it looked forced or not.

Behind her was a small mahogany desk with various papers and a computer monitor. There was a fake plant by the door, which was covered in children's drawings made for the counselor. Next to and under the desk, various drawing utensils and games and puzzles lay, slightly beaten up, but well-kept. Edd sat on a leather couch opposite the woman with a short glass table in between them.

Edd took her hand hesitantly, shaking it once and nodding, "Uh, nice to meet you too." The woman leaned back into her chair and scribbled something on her clipboard.

"So, this is usually the least fun part. Mind telling me what's been going on?" Annie was looking him in the eyes again with light concern. This was probably the most emotion a counselor had ever shown to him- most were stone cold and apathetic.

"Well..." Edd looked to the side and took a deep breath, "Um... My, uh, my close friend passed away." He glanced back up at her to see her write another small note on her clipboard and nod a bit.

"I understand that there's more that's been adding up to your behavior lately. Matt told me that one of your mutual friends was a part of this?"

Edd nodded.

"Would you mind explaining?"

Edd shook his head.

The woman then nodded and glanced down to her notes. "Can I ask why you don't want to tell me?"

Edd paused, then mumbled, "I don't know who to trust anymore." The counselor smiled a tiny bit.

"I understand. In that case," She leaned down and picked up some puzzles, paper, colored pencils, and the like and set them on the glass table. "Let me get to know you. I don't expect you to trust me right away, but we can work on that. What do you like to do?"

He looked at Annie in light confusion. "I, uh... I like to draw and animate, but I haven't done it in a while."

"Well, I've got plenty of pencils and markers and some blank paper, so we can draw. I do want you to talk to me, though, Edd. Just start by telling me what you've been going through the past couple months." She handed Edd a small stack of computer paper and a box of colored pencils. He thankfully took the paper and stared st the page.

"... Don't know what to draw?"

Edd shook his head no.

"Why don't you draw something that has to do with your feelings? Sometimes people express themselves better in art than words." Annie suggested. He nodded hesitantly, and began to bring the page to life.

In the hour-long consultation, Edd had made three different drawings without saying much. Annie would ask yes or no questions, and he would nod or shake his head. She complimented a lot of his art. When Matt came back to pick Edd back up, she asked if she could keep his drawings for reference, and Edd let her.

"So... Uh, was she any different? I had someone recommend her. They said she specialized in kids, so I thought maybe she might be a better fit." Matt asked on the silent car ride back to their apartment.

"She... Yeah, she was nice. I liked her a lot better than the others." Edd replied, staring out the passenger seat window.

There was slight hesitation in Matt's voice, "Should I schedule a follow-up meeting, then...? You really need this, Edd. Even if we're short on money."

"... I'll give it a shot. I still don't know how to feel about all this..."

Matt sighed in relief. "Good. Thank you. I'll give you her number so you can call in and schedule your next appointment." The worn car he was driving pulled into the apartment lot, where he killed the engine and put it in park. Both Matt and Edd got out of the car and stretched a little from the long car ride before walking into the apartment lobby. They methodically made their way to the elevator, riding up to their floor, and walked to their apartment like they did every time they arrived home from something.

Neither man said anything, as Edd walked to his room and Matt went into the kitchen to heat up some frozen pizza from the night before. Edd, both mentally and physically exhausted, had flopped down on his bed and curled up.

He was on the brink of falling asleep when his phone made a small ding, giving him the notification for a new kik message.

RL: how'd the counselor thing go?
RL: was she alright?

Edd: Yeah, she was nice. I'm gonna schedule a follow-up

RL: that's good to hear
RL: you sound like you need it

Edd: Yeah
Edd: Hey, um...
Edd: I've been thinking...

RL: ?

Edd: ... We've met before, right?
Edd: You feel too familiar
Edd: And you uh
Edd: Seem a lot like someone
Edd: ...

RL is typing...

Edd: Sorry. I shouldn't have said anything.
Edd: Let's, uh, change the subject

RL: alright

Edd: You'd tell me, though, right?
Edd: If you know me more than just KiK

RL: i don't know
RL: ... work stuff

Edd: Sigh. Yeah. I guess I just needed to say that

RL is typing...

RL: you said i reminded you of someone?

Edd: Yeah.

RL: who?

Edd: ... No one. Forget it.

RL: would that be bad? if i reminded you of them?

Edd is typing...

Edd: I don't know.
Edd: I don't know how I feel about that person anymore
Edd: I know I should hate him with all my guts
Edd: I mean, I do. I hate what he did, but...
Edd: I just can't bring myself to hate him as a person.
Edd: Talking to you just reminds me of him so much for some reason. Just... You feel so similar. I know I honestly don't know you personally much, but your aura or something is pretty much the same. I hate it. I don't hate you. But I hate whatever this feeling is.
Edd: I'm so damn conflicted
Edd: I hate my head for doing this. I should just hate him, simple. Like Matt does. Like my neighbors do. Like everyone else does. It's so infuriating.
Edd: ...
Edd: I hate him for doing this to me. I hate him for what he did. He's a terrible person with no morals. He doesn't think about others anymore. He's selfish, and cold, and heartless.
Edd: ... But part of me wants to remember him for who he was, I guess. My rational mind and my emotions are at war
Edd: As cheesy as it sounds.

Edd sniffled and hiccuped a bit. It was only then that he realized he started crying, touching his cheeks and pulling his hands back to look at the tears, and rubbed his eyes. He took a tissue from the side of his bed to blow his nose into. His eyes narrowed as he looked at the tissue angrily and threw it into the garbage can he brought to his room, clenching his fists with his fingernails digging into his palms. Damn it.

Edd: I gotta go.

He turned his phone off and tossed it elsewhere on his bed.