There are a lot of things you wouldn't expect to emerge from a 16 year old boy, numerous emotions that constantly change filling and emptying the heart of a broken youth. A voice almost strangled by the cries that threaten to expose their repulsive nature just to satisfy a selfish yet selfless desire.
Disgust with oneself, constantly despising one's own actions was another. How could someone that was taught to deem himself perfect be repulsed by his own being. The lack of compassion, the burning flame that once filled the torch of desire, a craving for love, was now extinguished.
He never thought that something so small would turn into something so grand, the he would be left to wonder what went so wrong. He trusted and put so much faith into the people that wronged him. He never learned to see the wrong motives.
So the most heartbreakingly beautiful lie happened. Love turned into pain, happiness was reduced to nothing more than the panging feelings of sadness. He would have never thought that everything would end up in this. He vowed to never love again. He was tired of the way he was being treated. He wasn't going to risk anything anymore.
But the wheel of fate is a monstrous thing. It'll put you in the worst states unimaginable, force you to make decisions that endanger the very morals you were brought up upon, only to save your heart from obliterating. It wasn't just, it wasn't fair. It was one-sided.
And you can't force yourself, no matter how much you want to, you can't resist the fall. You'll spiral down without even the dimmest light touching your eyes. Before you know it, you've been blinded by the pitch-black forces of the dark. The voices that simply scream at the back of your mind, then you're deafened by the mortifying screams of those seemingly harmless voices.
You can only hold a façade for so long; the unwillingness of many to help that makes you lose faith. You find yourself crying out for someone, anyone who can hear, yet no one. Not a single soul arrives and gives you a hand.
Your mind is poisoned, heart is blackened and pain is all you'll ever know. You start doing things that you'd never thought you'd end up doing. You'll no longer just long for a yearning of true love. You beg for it because you know that you need it so badly. You find your heart shattering.
Yes, Niall Horan's heart is poisoned; his will to fight is gone. He needs to give something in order to receive the thing that should be given freely to everyone. No it wasn't right. He doesn't understand anything anymore.
What used to be the remnants of a sweet, innocent, care-free being is gone, all because of these stupid selfish desires.
Love is cruel, love is selfish. No one should be burning alone, yet here he is with a heart so ready to give everything to that one person that would help him and bring him out of this predicament that he got himself into.
At this point it doesn't even matter who it is anymore. Anyone who would love with a true and passionate heart would suffice for him. This time he needs to win, someone needs to make him know, make him realize and never let him go back to this.
But it's all a lie isn't it? You'll believe and you'll fall and get yourself hurt all over again. A heart torn in two is more difficult love then a blackened heart.
They say the ones that are hardest to love are the ones that need it most.
He didn't believe it until now.
