Anxious Annie

1- Annie

Annie's P.O.V

            I had my first panic attack when the fourth year of my existence began. The experience was too horrendous to speak of, but it haunts me every time I try to seek for peace in my slumber. Unfortunately, it’s been twelve years and I continue to suffer from frequent attacks that the doctor said is a result of my anxiety.

***

            Mother stepped on the gas pedal with fire in her hazel brown eyes, making the car thrust forward, signaling the awakening of the beast.

            “Anne Elizabeth James, you better be grateful that I wasted my money on stupid pills to help your so-called anxiety.” I wasn’t very fond of the words that my mother spoke with. Especially since she addressed me with my full name instead of my nickname, Annie. We had just left Dr.Sheen’s office, who told her that I had been diagnosed with a generalized anxiety disorder and that I will continue to be diagnosed with a plethora of others.

            “If Father were here, he would’ve been happy that I’m okay.” It was the first time I spoke of him since his death, that occurred just a year ago, but I needed to say it. I needed to burst. My age of just six years did not stop me.

            “Well he’s not here anymore, so you’ll have to deal with me.” The anger in her tone increased with each word that left her lips that were smothered with lipstick.

            “I wish I didn’t have to.” I mumbled in a bit too aggressively tone. Oh how I wished she did not hear what I had said but much to my dismay, she did. As the traffic lights transformed from green to red, she lifted her left hand off the steering wheel, and slapped me.

***

            Tears sprung to my eyes but I quickly wiped them away with my sweater sleeve. I didn’t want to reveal my weakness to anyone during this assembly, or anywhere. That would just make me bait to those who dedicate their lives to putting others down.

            Things started to get a bit too noisy when students began to ramble as they were taking their seats. Noisy enough to send shivers down my spine. Noisy enough for my heart to start beating out of my chest. Noisy enough for my leg to start trembling. Stop. I placed my hand, abruptly, on my shaking knee, attempting to stop it. Thankfully, I did. My eyes scanned across the large area to see if anyone had the chance to witness that horrifying situation. Thankfully, they didn’t.

            Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, tenth grade’s biggest flirt, Mason slid into the cushioned chair next to me. It was obvious that he saw my eyes widen at his arrival because without permission he slithered his right arm across the back of my chair, invading my personal space.

            “Hey sugar,” Mason was the last person on earth that I wanted to flirt with me. If Mason wanted to make a living by flirting, he would be a millionaire. His coal black hair made me feel uncomfortable because it gave him a look more devilish than usual black-haired boys have. When I realized how close he was to me, hyperventilating was what I began to do. It was getting hard to breathe. The fresh blood prickling from my bottom lip wasn’t worth it because biting my lip didn’t stop the tears from falling. Soon, my tears became well-known to Mason. In result, he stood up with a smirk plastered on his face and guess what he did.

            “Hah, look at Annie, still crying for no reason in her sophomore year!” Mason announced. Applaud and laughter from the jocks and cheerleaders empowered him. Teachers tried their best to stop the ruckus but their best wasn’t working.

            “Stop,” I whispered.

            “What did you say?”

            “Stop,” I said a bit louder, but not loud, with my face still hidden in the cup that was formed by my scrawny hands.

            “What did you say?” Enough was enough.

            I raised my head from my hands, stood up and yelled, “STOP!” Silence. I wish it stayed that way but it didn’t. The sound of laughter and applaud from every person in the auditorium filled the room. That was enough to send me running. Running out of my row, down the aisles, and to the auditorium door.

            “Annie!” A voice yelled causing me to freeze. Because of that, the audience died down. I turned my head around and saw him. Jake. He wasn’t laughing, smirking, or smiling. The only part of his body showing emotion was his sparkling blue eyes that resembled an ocean after a storm; they read guilt. I couldn’t help but admire his confidence because I didn’t own enough confidence to react any further. I pushed open the door and ran.