Short stories

The Snack that Smiles Back

"James Hamish Guhannes get down here right now!

She heard his footsteps as he quickly thudded down the stairs. 

"What did I do wrong this time?" groaning as he entered the kitchen. "And don't say my middle name, it's absolutely ridiculous."

Her back was faced towards him and she was massaging her temples. She turned around to face him and took a deep breath before she spoke, trying to keep as calm as possible, "The goldfish are not for eating, James. They are pets!"

He looked at her with a very confused look on his face. 

She looked at the plate that was sitting on the counter and noted the small, fish bones on it. Then she dropped her face into her hands muttering, "I just bought them last week"

James stood silent for another moment then asked, "What is the purpose of the "goldfish,"  as you call them, if not for consumption? And what are "pets?"'

"Pets, James, are animals that people have to look after. Like a companion."

Bewildered he further inquired, "Why would you want an animal as a companion? That's ludicrous! They cannot speak to you or offer you assistance!" He began to wave his hands and exclaimed, "Your culture is so confusing!"

She couldn't help but smile, it never failed to amuse her when he got worked up like this. 

She giggled, "You know what, James. Don't worry about it. Those fish would probably die soon and you're right, they cannot offer much companionship"

"Then why did you buy them?!"

"I don't know," she smiled.

James settled down but a grumpy look came over his face, "They didn't even taste very good." 

"That's a shame. And for future reference, if we have any animals in this house that are not already dead then do not eat them. What will people think if I bought a cat or something and they come in one day to see you cooking up a cat roast!" she shook her head grinning.

"They might think that I am not human." He said smirking.

She laughed, "Then they'd be absolutely correct."