I don't bite, I nibble.

I don't bite, I nibble. chapter 3

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I gasped jerking up and coughed/throwing up. It was mostly liquids but there were chunks of cake in there. I pressed the nurse’s button and climbed out of the bed. I felt very weak… very fragile.

A nurse came in and saw the mess before calling for some help to clean up. I stripped and took a shower. Something was different with me, my body wasn’t working right. It was like my brain was forgetting how to do stuff.

I had to lean against the wall just to bend down so I didn't fall over. For the first time I had to sit on the toilet to put my pants on. After I dressed and brushed my teeth I left the bathroom. I found Greg waiting in my room.

I sat on my bare bed and looked at him, “I'm getting worse… I don't know why it is happening all of the sudden but I'm getting worse.” I told him and went to grab my arm but my hand seemed to miss and hit my stomach.

My eyes water but before they could fall arms wrapped around me and my face was buried into his shoulder. Clutching his scrubs I cried, I sobbed more than I did when I found out I was going to die.

His beeper went off making him tense but he didn't let go of me. I forced myself from him and pushed him back.

Sniffing I tried to hold back from crying, “I- I’m fine… Other… other people need you.” I told him but had my head ducked because tears still slid from my eyes.

He put his hand on the back of my head and pressed his lips to the top of my head. He quickly left and I curled up into a ball crying softly.

Soon my tears dried up and I just laid there staring at the blue curtain. I felt some one touch my arm making me look up, “Hey.” Greg said softly with a small smile.

I pushed myself up and hugged him. He held me close, “You don't have to do the surgery today… we can wait another day.”

Moving my head side to side against his chest I said, “No… it has to be today.”

One of his hands rubbed my back softly, “The only opening today is in 3 hours.” He told me with a soft tone.

“Hope?”

I pulled away to see my Mom and Dad. Happy and sad tears came from my eyes as I climbed off the bed to be hugged between them.

Mom seemed to clutch onto me with dear life as she sobbed and dad just hugged us both. I tried to stop the tears but I couldn't.

I held her close, “The doctor said you wanted the surgery today so we came… Why didn't you tell us?”

After a minute I pulled back so I wasn’t being squished between them, “Because… I didn't want you to try and talk me out of it… I want to die on my own terms ok? I… want…” I wanted to say I didn't want to die but I couldn't say that, it would just hurt my parents. Clearing my throat I smiled at my parents and wiped my tears.

“I have one last request of you as my parents.” I told them seriously as I calmed down.

My Dad held my mom and mom sniffed, “What is it?”

Smiling softer I looked at both of them, “The people that get my organs… can you tell them I was happy to give them a piece of my life and that I died happy to let them live?” I asked with tears in my eyes.

My mom’s bottom lip quivered before she rushed over and crushed me in a hug. Holding in my own cries I rubbed her back, “Mom, we had this fiasco when we found out I was dying… we don't need a second one.”

She laughed wiping her tears and let go, “I don't think another ice cream man should suffer either.” She said and leaned back into dads hold.

Greg touched my shoulder, “If you want to go into surgery we are going to have to start preparations.” I nodded and he walked towards the door.