3:25 AM

Girl

"I don't have low self esteem, I have low self esteem for others".

She was pretty fuckin' weird for a millenial, and not in a glitzy-cutesy-geeky kind of way - as much as any sane human would hope to find in such a girl with edge and fashion-passion.

Yeah, she was pretty typical, with her super basic interests and her constant need to be around people.

I recall she had a thing for compliments. She had a thing for many things, actually.

One of them happened to be him.

You know, that one guy, whatever his name was.

Man, was he a loser.

If one of John Green's books happened to be taken and ripped apart with bare teeth and hand, then chewed up into spitballs where it would then be scientifically and chemically burned to form DNA to create the human equivalent, it would be that guy.

He would kiss her in the rain and make her feel like the most beautiful human being - even when she was caking on makeup on her eye, and she'd miss and her liquid eyeliner would end up inside of her eyeball, 'til she looked like a cheerleader dumped on the night of prom.

He wouldn't care if her garnet-red lipstick smeared, because often he would be the cause anyway.

He wouldn't care if her voice croaked and she spoke like a knock-off drag queen in the early hours of the morning, or long, soft and drawn out in the late hours of the night.

Sometime's she thought he didn't care about anything at all.

And she was right.

He was one of the most insanely sensitive-yet-apatheitc and mentally-unstable people to ever exist.

You could see that coming from yards away.

Someone lame on Facebook shared a post that once said that the devil doesn't come to you dressed like your biggest phobia, but disguised as everything you've ever wanted in a partner.

(God bless you, gran).

...

Even though he has done me so much wrong, I still wonder how he's doing sometimes.

-4:04