Synthetic Love

[18]

I remember my mother telling me since I was young-"Sabrina, marry someone who loves you and not the other way..." While her eyes filled with more tears.

I can't forget the nights that my mom was sitting down in the living room, waiting for my biological father come home.

When you're a little kid, you don't understand what emotional pain is. You can't change the fact that your father doesn't love your mother, which he's staying with because he can't afford paying child support and live by himself. You hope that everything will be okay and you'll have the same happy family that the other kids in school has.

I don't remember my mom smiling almost all my childhood. Things got worse when the divorce papers got in the mail and our world crumbled in front of our eyes.

My sister was growing up, blaming everyone and everything around for every problem.

One day, when this smiling man with kind eyes appears in our life, my mom starts smiling and soon I and my sister start calling him dad, forgetting about the one who we didn't even know.

"You see Sabrina? I told you that you need to marry someone who loves you..." I didn't understand her back then, I was only 8 at the time. I just smiled and nodded eagerly.

I wish I listened her, because this pain in my chest caused by someone who doesn't love me.

~~~

Ricky looked peaceful as he slept. My heart melted to his beautiful skin, which was decorated with magnificent ink. His chest raised with every inhale and exhale, making my hands tingle with the want to trace every line and curve.

I was fully dressed, ready to leave, but my heart had other plans. Instead placing the photo on the pillow I stood in the corner and stared at Ricky like a creep. I would laugh at myself but it was crucial to keep quiet and sneak out without waking up Ricky.

Taking deep breath in, I placed the photo on the pillow, glancing one last time at him knowing that it was the last time I would see him. I exited the room and closed the door, fighting the urge to crumble and start crying. I could afford go back like last time, because it meant that making amends with my best friend would be even harder, and the fact that I finally did what I had to do in the first place will show him how serious I was.

The night air was cool and the casual wind make me shake even more. My car was already parked in the lot, my stuff in the baggage. I insisted on going to my hotel room to grab clean clothes and sending Ricky to his house while I placed my suitcase in the trunk and checked out from the cheap hotel.

~~~

Knowing that driving in the middle of night will take its toll on me even more, I've decided to drive an hour and find some town with more than two hotels so it will be impossible to find me.

I choose some old motel that smelled like something was rotting in the bathroom, but it didn't bother me since sleep was the last thing on my mind.

The light of the passing by cars cascaded on the wall of the room, making me anxious every time while hoping that Ricky woke up and gone after me, what I doubt will happen.

My heart beat was the only sound in my head, which was running full time on the many thoughts.

No more pain, no longer disappointment.

~~~

Hey guysssss!

I'm really stoked for what's coming next (my fav part!)

The past week was bad, since Josh left MIW (January 10, 2017) and some people acted like he died, but we will continue supporting him no matter what.

I hope you'll enjoy this chapter even though it's super short (but really important one)!

Alex