I feel a warm hand touch my cheek, and then it's gone. I instantly want it back because I'm freezing. Then I feel it back again, and it leaves..damnit. I hear a murmur of voices all around me and I'm trying to focus on what they're saying.
But I give up because I'm too tired. I feel drained, I feel like there's nothing left in me. What if I'm in a coma? Is this how it feels...no I don't think so. If you're in a coma, it's sorta like your asleep, right? Grrr...I don't know, if only I would have paid more attention in health class!
Then a thought occurs...why would I be in a coma? Where the hell am I? I think back to the last thought I remember....and like a train, it hits me head on. Everything that has happened to me in the last five hours or so comes rushing back. Images are appearing in my head along with conversations I had earlier.
No, I'm not in a coma, I passed out. And the reason I feel like shit is because my last living relative is dead. I'm alone in this world. It's just me and my hamster Twister. I realize I can open my eyes if I want...but do I? Do I want to wake up and have a rush of people asking me meaningless questions; do I want to relive the scene with my father? If I open my eyes, I would have to do what I did last time, answer questions that I have no way of answering without people thinking I'm crazy. No one would or could ever understand. No one.
But what choice did I have? I'm going to open my eyes and there's going to be tears and words that are supposed to comfort me. I need to get it over with. Okay, on a count of three, I'll open my eyes.
One...two...three...shit I can't! I have to do this though.
One...two...three...fuck! Just do it Kayle!
One...two...three...I open my eyes everything's blurry, I don't hear the voices anymore and breathe a sigh of relief when I realize everyone's gone. I look around and see a monitor beeping steadily, I see white walls and...that's about it.
I'm definitely in a hospital. I look down and see I'm wearing a gown. Jeez...I just passed out! Not that big of a deal. I look outside and see it's dark, so that means I probably haven't been out that long.
I hear a shuffle of footsteps and quickly lie back down and close my eyes. I hear a deep voice talk...I know who it is, its Mr. Roger, or Dr. Ren now.
"She's not awake yet. " I guess they let him take care of me since he knows me, because usually he works in the surgery department.
Then another voice I know too well speaks frantically... Lucas.
Lucas's dad is Mr. Roger/ Dr. Ren.
"Is she gonna be okay? Why hasn't she woken up yet? Oh god, I think I'm gonna be sick."
"Son, calm down, she'll be fine. She needs rest anyways; she'll need all the strength she can get to learn about her mother."
Everything was quite for a moment. Then I barley heard Lucas whisper something. I think he said, 'It's not fair."
"It's not fair" he said again, this time louder and there was an edge to it. He sounded frustrated.
"It's often not fair."
"You don't get it! It's not fair, do you realize what she's gone through! Do you realize what losing her dad cost her? She lost her friends, she lost a part of her mother, she lost me. What's she gonna lose this time? Huh! "
Then Mr. Roger was quite.
"What's left to lose?" Lucas whispered sadly.
I felt tears swarming my eyes. He's right, what do I have left to lose?
"I'm sorry Lucas, I don't know what else to say."
I hear Mr. Roger leave the room, but I can sense Lucas still here. He takes my hand and hold and. I feel something wet drop on my hand. Then I feel something heavy on my stomach. I slowly open my eyes, and look down, Lucas's head is laid down on my stomach, and I see a tear on my hand.
