Pyrocynical x Reader Oneshots

MY GIRLFRIEND DOES MY MAKEUP: CANCER EDITION

*Niall's POV*

I groaned as I watched the comments on my most recent upload grow, becoming more and more cancerous every minute. 

dirtyironboard62 ur gf is way hotter than u fgt

mewmewcorn i'd fuck either tbh

shrrkattrck111 when did u stop doing mlg???

I felt myself sinking deeper into crippling depression when I felt a soft hand on my shoulder and long hair tickling the back of my neck. "You know, you did this to yourself Niall. You created this cancer allllll on your own," my girlfriend, (Y/N), said. 

"Thanks for the support babe. You really know how to make me feel better." She giggled at my probably frowning face and ruffled my hair, irritating me further. 

*Your POV*

Niall was so cute when he got flustered like this. You couldn't help but think back on what got him to this current state, which was the video you'd begged him to post. In one of his twitter Q&As he was asked if he had a girlfriend, to which he fatefully responded affirmatively. Since then everyone had been begging him to do a video with you. 

He'd begrudgingly asked you to participate in one of his videos and you agreed eagerly, a plan already formulating in your mind. It had taken a lot of cajoling and a few... ahem, favors to get Niall to agree, but you finally got him to make it. A stereotypical girlfriend does my makeup skit. 

MY GIRLFRIEND DOES MY MAKEUP: CANCER EDITION 

Niall: What's up everyone, it's your boy WatchMojo bringing you another "Top 10 reasons why I hate my life." Number one is my girlfriend (Y/N) here, who you've all been begging me to show you. I guess you didn't believe that an ugly cunt like me could actually be banging someone."

You'd been sitting next to Niall since the video started and you punched his arm when he said that.

You: "You're not going to be banging anyone tonight, that's for damn sure! But anyway, Pyro is going to let me do his makeup today! Aren't you excited baby?!"

Niall: Actually I would rather have leafy videos set on autoplay for five hours straight. Just get on with it."

Ignoring your mild irritation, you began the torture of the great pyrocynical.

You: We're going to start with foundation. Since Pyro looks like Casper, any of the products that I have will be a little dark on him. But that's okay, we can go for a tacky 'Real Housewives of New Jersey' look on him.

Niall: What the bloody hell did I get myself into...

Twenty minutes and a lot of bronzer, red lipstick, and blue eyeshadow later, the look was finally complete. You giggled as you handed your boyfriend a mirror, who was getting the first glimpse at his new look.

Niall: Jesus Christ... and I thought I looked like a lesbian before. Somehow I'm an even uglier cunt than I was an hour ago. 

You were laughing so hard that tears were coming out of your eyes. Annoyed by how much fun you seemed to be getting out of it, Niall grabbed you and planted smudgy red lipstick prints all over your face, effectively ruining all your "hard" work and making you look equally ridiculous. 

Niall: Thank you all so much for watching and leave a like if you think that (Y/N) should have sex with me tonight. Also shoutout to her for making sure this video is over ten minutes long, need to be able to get those midroll ads in guys.

You: (Y/N) HEY-

*outro music*

*Your POV*

"Hey (Y/N) the video already has 65k likes. Does that mean you'll have sex with me tonight?"

"NO!"