The Girl With The Purple Hair (GirlxGirl)

Guilt

Chapter 7:
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I was pacing back and forth in my bedroom. The scene between Violet and I replaying over and over. I had left before anyone had woken up, sending a text to my friend's group chat, telling them I had to leave early.

All I could feel was guilt. The fact that I had let Violet do that to me was eating me alive. I cheated on Jason, I've never cheated on anyone in my life. So why now? Why her? My mind went over every possible reason, but it would always come up with the same conclusion. I like her, I like Violet, I like a girl.

I fell onto my bed, my stomach hitting the mattress, as I buried my face into the pillow. I couldn't like her though. I have a boyfriend, and more importantly, I don't like girls. My parents would disown me if they found out about us.

I flipped onto my back. Letting all of my thoughts sink in. 'How could I let that happen?' I asked myself. The guilt I felt was unbearable, I just want to crawl into a corner and hide from the world. Unfortunately, it wasn't that simple. I would have to face them both tomorrow at school, that was inevitable. 'How am I supposed to look Jason in the eye?' All of this is just too much.

I decided I needed some fresh air. It wasn't good for me to be cooped up in my room all day, with my thoughts running wild. I just needed to clear my head. It was now 2:35 pm, so I got up, put some shoes on, and walked out the front door. I thought it'd be a good idea to take a walk, so I decided to go to the park a few blocks away.

Once I got there, I sat on a bench. I observed all of the little kids playing on the jungle gym, the dogs running around playing fetch with their owners, and the cars passing by on the road. All of these little things helped take my mind off of my current situation, but only for a little bit. As I felt the first tear drop slid from the corner of my eye, down my cheek. Soon after, the rest followed, and I was in full blown tears. My hands covering my face, shielding my problems from the world. Everything was just so fucked up, I didn't know what to do.

Mind couldn't seem to stop going back to Violet. How good it felt to be pleasured by her, the gentleness of her touch, the way she whispered sweet nothings into my ear, the softness of her lips as she kissed my neck. Everything just felt so right, but I knew it was all wrong. It was wrong of me not to stop her, and it was wrong of me to like it so much.

I continued to cry on the bench for a little longer, until the tears finally stopped. I wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my shirt. I looked up at the sky with red stained eyes, thinking about how the clouds just float in the sky, nothing to worry about. Not having to deal with such difficult situations.

I realized I was there longer than I had intended on, considering it was now dark out. So I walked back home, trying to savor the calmness that had restored in my mind, but that didn't last long as I walked through my front door, and was met with my mother's worried eyes.

"Dakota where have you been?!? We have been trying to contact you all day, and you haven't answered." She yelled at me.

That's when I realized I forgot my phone on my night stand. "Sorry mom, I forgot to bring my phone with me, I just went for a walk." She studied me with a hard glare, but then her eyes soon softened.

"Have you been crying honey?" She asked with concern.

I looked down at the floor, not wanting to meet my mom's sympathetic eyes. I just shook my head 'no', but that didn't seem to convince her. She walked up to me, and brought me into her warm embrace. Which I immediately responded to, by hugging her back. The tears I tried holding in, falling free for the second time that day.

"Sweetie talk to me, what's wrong?" I couldn't tell her the real reason why I was crying, so I had to think of something quick. I always told my mom everything, so if I didn't, she'd really know something was wrong. But I couldn't tell her about Violet, so I lied and said it was about Jason.