The Truth About Evelyn || ✔

.07

September 15th

8:47 PM

Today in History class, we had a discussion on our biggest regrets. 

I wanted to tell the class how I regret how I've portrayed myself to the student body.

Just because I'm quiet doesn't necessarily mean I'm a snob. Just because I have some form of intelligence and in advanced classes doesn't mean I'm rubbing it in your face. 

And yes, I have a ton of regrets. But there's just one that I would love to have a do-over with. 

My biggest regret - ever, in my fourteen years of existence - is kissing John Krovac. Yes, the John Krovac. The one who makes my life a living hell every single moment I'm awake. Okay, maybe not THAT much, but you get what I mean. Who am I kidding, you're a freaking diary. Of course you don't get what I mean.

Anyways, I was at a party in sixth grade - my first boy/girl party (cringe) - and it was hosted by John. He told everyone that his big brother played a game that was a mix of spin the bottle and seven minutes in heaven in high school, and that was where he found his girlfriend. 

Of course, John Krovac had a girlfriend back then. Well, as much of a girlfriend you can have in middle school. Her name was Julie Portich, and she was the closest thing to a sixth grade model - blue eyes, blonde hair, extra gorgeous. So when he spun the bottle, everyone thought that it would land on Julie. 

Instead, it landed on me. 

And since John was such a team player (note the sarcasm), he took my hand and led me to the specified closet. I could feel Julie's death stare on my back as her boyfriend and I closed the door. 

At first, I didn't know what I was doing. I've never kissed a boy in my life, unless you count the posters I had of Justin Bieber in my room.

Then John just reached over and - literally - tackled my lips with his. I was so surprised that I didn't know what was happening. He kept groping my ass and touching me in places that made me feel uncomfortable. But of course, I kept silent and tried my hardest to kiss him back as though I had experience. 

Suddenly, someone threw open the closet door, and John ripped himself from me. I saw Julie's eyes start to water, and everyone else had complete shock in their features. I have never been more confused in my life. The room was dead silent.

Until John started to yell.

"She just threw herself at me! I tried pulling away but I couldn't, and if no one had opened the door, then I swear that I would've gotten raped - by this whore," he shouted. 

I got kicked out of my first - and only - boy/girl party that night. 

And the next day at school, I found condoms in my locker. That's where everything began.

But I didn't tell my class all of this. When it was my turn, I told them that my biggest regret was feeding a huge chocolate bar to my cat in second grade. She died two days afterward.

-E