Wolfskin (A Werewolf Novel) - ON HOLD

four 02 | mistakes

four | 02
m i s t a k e s

When I glanced up Kaden was frowning. The expression made my tummy fizzle uneasily and my hands itched to reach forward and smooth it out.

"You don't trust me." The statement was blunt, yet the hurt in his tone was unmistakable.

"I...I barely know you. And anyway, isn't trust supposed to be—"

"Earned. Yes." His jaw was clenched.

I nodded; that was what Dad had always said. I looked up at him through my lashes; nerves jiggling my belly. "So, about last night..."

There was silence for a moment. "We kissed. Again."

I don't know how long I sat there, burning a hole into his t-shirt with my eyes. Emotions flitted through me but I could only catch one: shock. Absolute, muscle-freezing shock.

How was I supposed to reply to that? We'd kissed. Shared saliva. And I couldn't remember? God, I had so many questions. How had we kissed? On the bed? Against a wall? Using tongues? Did he actually mean that we'd made-out? How could I not—

"It wasn't that memorable for me either." His tone was bored. "Drunk kisses never are."

I couldn't help the way my heart constricted at his words. Right, reality check. Obviously the most gorgeous guy I'd ever laid my eyes on would have girls throwing themselves at him. That was basically a law of the universe; I was just another notch on his...bed post? Kissing gate? Whatever. This had obviously been the aim of his game all along: get the new girl into bed. Ruin her reputation. I flicked my eyes up, determined to ignore the ache of disappointment in my chest.

He avoided my gaze as he stood, face blank. "Your friends are downstairs. Don't bother making the bed." Then he left the room, taking my dignity with him.

God, I was an idiot! An absolute moron. How could I have even thought that he'd be interested in me? Guys like him went for the Rowan's of the world, then they created more tiny assholes and the cycle continued. I'd seen that enough back in London to know better. I burrowed my face in the pillow, silently cursing my stupidity. How was I supposed to go downstairs now and face Rowan and Yasmin and God knows who else? And what was I supposed to say? I huffed into the pillow, wishing the bed would swallow me whole.

Brielle, stop this. The voice in my head sounded a remarkably like Jen. So what, he's a dïck. Don't let him define who you are. Those words echoed from another time; the first time Nate had cheated on me. I'd been heartbroken, but then I'd toughened up. 

Right. No sulking; not this time. I inhaled into the pillow, and spluttered, suffocating on his wild smell. Why did such an asshole have to smell so damn good?! God, now he was all I could taste. I wanted it to be yuck. I wanted it to make him unattractive. But it just made me want...no. I was not going to like a player--not again. I swung myself up, flinging the pillow to the other side of the room. I was going to freshen up, then go downstairs. It wasn't like I had anything left to lose.

☾☽

My bare feet trailed along the smooth floorboards, unwilling to hurry along the inevitable humiliation. Part of me—the part with only torn tatters of dignity remaining—willed me to skip out on seeing them entirely and instead head for the front door in front of me. But the other part—the stronger part—told me to stay. It wasn't like Kaden and I had actually done anything, and I couldn't avoid them forever.