Hold Me | yoonmin |

23

Thx you guys, I'm in actual tears, thank you so so so so so so so much for getting hold me to 12k views, I honestly I'm so indebted to you guys, I will forever be grateful to each and every one of you, and I want to talk to all of you guys saying thank you...individually....

Jimin's POV

   I feel lonely

I mean I've been with the people that love ,and care for me, but there's still this feeling of emptiness, this feeling of getting all the attention, but being blindsided.

   Imagining that, I have love and care, but not from the person I want, and need...

I'm not talking about sexual relationships, since everyone seems to believe being a little and hybrid means, I'm vulnerable, and  need, a "master" to keep me in check... I don't, nor do I want.

  I am very, extremely capable of taking care of myself.

A little, doesn't need sexual attention, they need love, attention...not physical...but mostly emotional.~

  We know, weknow as littles and hybrids that we are different and "special" but it doesn't mean, I'm not human..

I turned my head to the stained black window, that was still projecting the violent wind outside...

" The windows are stained black, not because, other people wanted to lock me up, no..it was the opposite, complete opposite..

  I hated myself, I despised my visuals, physical and emotional.. to the point, I-myself couldn't find the strength to look myself in a mirror.

"school-home-outside-inside-physically-emotionally-trusting-lovecare" I shakily breathed, laying myself on the tear stained bed and sheet.

I think over time, those things erased from my mind, from my knowledge, my h-heart..

I begged them to lock me up, I didn't trust myself, I-i.." I could feel those little pools in my eyes, which were blocking my view, making it so hard to blink, not wanting them to leave my eyes.

Those same little pools would soon fall, like a broken glass, spilling all the milk on the floor, that now became spoiled..spoiled and unusable from just a small crack..

"That's how I used to feel...oh who am I kidding myself.... that's how I still feel" I giggled thinking about all those suicidal, mentally destroyable thoughts..

" if someone didn't know me, they would definitely think I'm a psychopath, a killer... which is not far from who I truly am...the person I don't ever let loose.." I silently uttered, to specifically no one.

" I have k-"

"Jimin!!" The door surprisingly slung open, revealing the one and only Yoongi.

"Y-yes?" I quickly jumped off the bed, sneakily wiping off the little pools of water, which were milliseconds away from breaking .

  I slowly walked over to Yoongi-hyung, giving him a small smile that I often used...people usually translated to: I'm a very happy ball of energy..but...you know

I like that meaning better.

When I finally took my last step close enough to him, that I wasn't bursting my personal bubble.

Youngi-Hyung looked down at me for a second, and mouthed "what's wrong?" from my sudden action..

"Hyung why are you looking at me like that?" I questioned...deciding to play the dumb card~

   "Why can I not feel your b-bre-ath... on me?" He ordered, giving such a beautiful grin... that I just wanted to take a picture, and plaster it on my walls...yes walls.

   "Hum..because I don't see the reason my breath needs to be on your face?!" I replied walking past him, without anymore words..

"I'm sorry hyung.." I muttered turning my head back, just to see his face, his expression..the ora he gave off.

he's expressions was blank..

But for his ora...I could see the greyish particles flying around him, which signified disappointment..or envy.

  "but i didn't see the reason for envy..." I guessed

"I was wrong? it was both disappointment and envy?" I questioned loud enough for only my mind to hear...

"I'm just imagining it" I responded, closing my eyes..

   I walked to the stairs with my eyes closed, knowing if I let them open, I would run back to him...but I knew

I couldn't...I wouldn't...I shouldn't...or

"jimin..." I felt a breath on my neck...

"don't leave....p-pleasse.." he breathed again..voice getting deeper as the words came out.~

Arms wrapped around me, and that's all it took...

I didn't know what to do...was I supposed to respond? Or just let the moment be?..

  The embrace got tighter, like a parent hugging there kids off to first day of school....it was a warm and secure feeling...

"It told you to go...b-but it also told you to stay?" I remembered.

It felt like he needed a response...anything...

  "Hum.." I hummed back, cursing myself for the lack of vocabulary words, at the most needed moments.

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Hope the book is not getting uninteresting....
I promise it's because of school work and studies...(but I'll try updating sooner) *you say that each and every time May*

I love you

pwease COMMENT and VOTE how'd you feel after reading the chapter...

Peace and love
-may