Hold Me | yoonmin |

30

Jimin's POV

"I miss you.." Jimin mumbled to Yoongi over the phone, hoping that Yoongi would be home before the night approached. He hated when Yoongi worked so late and all the time..he knew he couldn't ask the older to stop working, that was unapproachable.. "isn't it" he questioned laying on their bed, lightly savoring the soft aroma that he had left of the older.

Yoongi had been going back to work more recently, taking Jungkook with him, as his dad had commanded him to do. Jimin might have not known this but Yoongi hated saying goodbye to a soundly asleep little boy, he didn't like the idea that Jimin would be back at their house, probably afraid, and alone...

But sadly their wasn't anything he could really do. he had finally told his father about Jimin, but he only seemed to not give a single care in the world, always inviting him and Jungkook to dinner parties, forbidden him to bring Jimin.

Yoongi had told Jungkook, their would never be anything more than friendship in their world, that he appreciated all he was doing, but that was it. and jungkook had to finally accept , he was probably never part of the big picture, not with Yoongi nor with Jimin. He was happy though, Yoongi seemed to really care for Jimin, and Jimin well you could see it in his eyes, how much he cared for the older, they both cared so deeply for each other, and well their house were mostly filled with laughter and joy.

but not always, their were those days where jimin would lose all self esteem, and completely dislike every part of him, crying in a corner facing the small mirror pointing out how, puffy his cheeks could get, how his hair was so dark, how his eyes were full of loneliness and anger for his own image, and well during those times, yoongi had to grab the younger, and whisper sweet melodies in his ears, promising him that he loved every little flaw in the younger.

Just by hearing those admiring and sweet words slip out of the older's mouth, the world seemed to calm down yet again, the flowers seemed to blossom, all seemed well in the younger's eyes, all seemed at peace, and at those calm and soothing moments, he would enjoy the older's warmth, his slow rhythmic heartbeat, always regretting not enjoying it a bit more.

jimin admired yoongi, and he loved him, maybe those words weren't yet ready to leave his mind nor his mouth, but the quiet days where he could watch yoongi type away on his laptop, taking sips of coffee every other minute, jimin would count how many times he could have said " i love you" he would count how many smiles he could have formed on the older's lips by saying one word..

sadly that was never the case, jimin would always stay far away, telling himself that he enjoyed watching his love from the distance he usually kept, he kept telling himself that he enjoyed those quiet moments as much as he enjoys the bold and loud moments where it was just the two of them, he kept repeating to himself that the older loved him, still he had this empty conscious that told him otherwise..it told him when to be sad, when to hate himself, and even when life seemed to be worthless, when he was worthless, he wanted to scream "nO" but his voice distressed him it held the words back from being heard.."maybe it's right, maybe-" those same words of maybe, maybe this , maybe that...maybe love is another word for hate maybe saying i hate you when you feel abandoned actually means i love you.

why do people always scream i hate you to their once loved ones, and end up crying over that precious person, that person that seemed to bring light and joy to their world, we sometimes wonder if that person doesn't know just how meaningful they mean to us, when we say we could "die without you" we really feel like death is right behind our doors, waiting for when "you" let them in, and guess what... you do just that, you open the locked doors that you once had the keys to, you watch us sink, and cry, and sob until were nothing.

nothing to you to ourself, you run away aware of just how terrible we feel, how broken you have left us, and yet again you don't turn to make sure we've fallen on a soft bed , instead we fall from thousands of floors at any moment hitting the hard, hot concrete floor that is our heart shattering into what seems to be unfixable pieces, we promise to ourselves never again, but just as we closed our doors with locks we don't have keys to, the real prince in shining armor appears, but were so defeated, we only seem to see darkness, we lock ourself in a small room that just seems to get smaller by the minute- jimin finally closes the little notebook he was writing from, unable to finish his words, as he wished they would stop hunting him more and more each day, it was his only way of letting go, he would always write, write down stories, write down memories, his feelings, his love , his hatred, writing all down seemed to take a bit of suffering of his heart.

jimin loved the days where he would watch yoongi, work away unaware of jimin's loving eyes towards him, the younger loved to draw the older working, sleeping, and smiling those were his favorites, he loved writing poems of the older, stories of their future..the ones he imagined of course, he never really talked about the future to yoongi ,and at first yoongi was worried their wouldn't be a future for them, but over time he realized how the younger was scared of the future, and how he too was afraid of what may come tomorrow.

as jimin looked over to the same clock he kept revisiting every minute, hoping that maybe the clock would be nice enough to skip to only the happy moments, jimin realized how late it had been, he slid under the covers, letting his eyes roam to where yoongi's body would be, he wrapped his arms around that same notebook, as it gave him the same reassurance the older did.

He closed his eyes, dreaming of a land far away and unreal, where life was always bright and full of laughter, where his parents, his most precious friends, and the one he loved were all there, he dreamed of this same land every night, as it was the only dream that didn't bring him nightmares and sorrow.

as jimin cuddled the blanket even more, yoongi approached the bedroom door, sighing at the younger asleep in their bed, he looked over at the same clock, knowing it was late, it was always late, and his days were usually gone by the time he got home, he softly took off his shoes and vest, climbing on the bed he wished he could be in all day, he turned of the lights , and looked at their window just in time to see a shooting star.

jimin would always tell him to close his eyes and ask for his biggest wish, and each time his wish was always the same " give me another day with jimin" and so he wished the same that night, pulling the boys body closer to himself, enjoying their colliding heartbeats, he enjoyed the young boys soft and warm breath slightly hitting his chest. he kissed the youngers forehead wrapping his arms around him, and giving him a light squeeze, he looked back at the midnight sky and smiled "we made it to tomorrow chim, we lasted another day." and closed his eyes.

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In a British accent : well dang maya actually wrote isn't that rare.. what am I doing?

First of all I'd like to properly thank all of you guys for 65k views and alsoo 421 followers..like wahttt ammmaze balls, i i love you.. hope you said all that in a British accent..

Well vote and comment the usu..

Get ready because updates are about to go downnn, uhm enjoy the rest of your summer.. and well always try to smile right?

Peace and love
-may

1409 words
10:58pm