Not Just Poems

Him?

The first time I saw you was
When you moved here.

I thought we could be friends
And we did.

The next couple of weeks
Went by and I had this
Weird tingly feeling.
It hurt. In a good way.

Why was I feeling like this?

A month went by.
I still had that feeling.
I knew. I knew you were
More to me than I thought.

I 'liked' you.
You liked her.
She liked you.

I told you how I felt.
It hurt when you said those words.
Its her.

You asked her out.
Of course she said yes.
I felt unwanted.
A third wheel.

I hated it but she was a friend.
A few months came and went.
You started hanging with me more.

We watched movies and cuddled up.
You broke up with her.
But why?
You didn't see me how I saw you.
I loved you.

You admitted you 'liked' me too.
I believed you.
You didn't ask me out or kiss me,
But yet I still believed you.

2weeks...2 fucking weeks,
You found someone else.
I believed you liked me.
I thought wrong.

Because you were with another.
Another friend to me.
It hurt more and more.

I became distant to you and them.
I started to hate you.

But why?

Because you played me.
I was a rebound.

Everything stopped.

I met new people.
Had new feelings,
To which I thought were real.

I then stopped going out after
Awhile because no one invited
Me out.

Time passed and I still thought
About you, even though to
Everyone, I 'hated' you.

Now at 1 in the morning.
18th of January 2017.
I'm thinking of you.

I realised I didn't hate you.
I just hid the fact that
I .
Me.
Still loves you.

Someone said
"If you have feelings for someone
Between a month and 4, its just a crush, if you still have feelings
Between 4 months and a year, you love them."

You.
Yes you.
Were my first, real, proper love.
Still to this day
I cry.
I know stupid, right?

I cry because I believed you when
You said you liked me.
When we cuddled up in my
Living room. My mum egging me
On to cuddle more.

I still remember how much I felt
For you.

How I still feel for you.

I still love you.