Sometimes Smiles Aren't True

XIV: Reminiscence Of My Past

I woke up the next day and when I open my eyes fully, I see Ash right next to my arms still wrapped around me. He's still asleep, so I start to play with his hair. I twirl it in my fingers and play with it. He doesn't wake up until thirty minutes later. He opens his eyes and says, "Do you like playing with my hair?" I turn slightly red and say, "Yes," while rubbing the back of my head. He replies, "Good, cos it felt nice." I laugh and say, "You were awake?!?" He laughs back and says, "Yep, about ten minutes before I opened my eyes." I stretch my arms out wide and Ash yawns. He says, "My mom left to go do something, she told me last night, so we've got basically the entire day to ourselves. I say, "Ooo I've got something!" I reach into my backpack and pull out my old journal. I open it to the back and the most recent entry was 1/3/17, the date of Anna's death. Tears well in my eyes as I remember the incident. Ash notices and says, let's not go there just yet mkay?" I nod and go to the front of the book. 9/23/16 Today was not good, it was my third day at my new school and this kid named Carter came over to me and beat me up at lunch. I had four bruises. The next entry was, 10/2/16 Carter came back again, but he had a friend, her name was Jess. I was at the park reading and they attacked me, I couldn't get off the ground. Mom had to help me. The next entry was 10/16/16 it says, my Computer Tech teacher dragged Carter down to the office. He got suspended, not like it'll matter. 10/26/16 We had Gym today and I got four dodge balls to the face. They were all from Carter. 11/11/16 Not much happened today, my mom and I got pizza and watched TV, that's all. 11/22/16 I feel empty, like I can't physically feel anything. I don't feel good whatsoever. 12/4/16 There's that feeling again, it's stronger now. I'm lonely, I have no friends, no one cares about me. No one will. 12/14/16 It snowed, that means fun, and Carter's deluxe ice balls. Oh this'll be great. 12/25/16 I got some cool stuff on Christmas, mainly clothes and some books. One was titled The Anatomy of the Night, it's a fantasy book, can't wait to read it! 12/30/16 Anna got hit in the face with one of Carter's ice balls, she was soaked and bleeding. 1/1/17 Anna told me she has Pneumonia, that won't be good. 1/3/17 Anna's mom texted me saying Anna passed away from Pneumonia, I feel terrible, I didn't do anything to help her. I won't write in this anymore, too many bad memories. I close the book and I'm crying. Ash hugs me tight and says, "Don't worry, you'll be fine, it'll pass." He starts rubbing my shoulders and I fall asleep in his arms, with the memories of my past still haunting me.