Tambourine (Ryden/Rydon)

2

I packed up everything back into the box except for the tambourine. I sighed, I wanted to get rid of it.
Burn it.
Break it.
Crush it.

But I couldn't, something was holding me back. What was it? I shook off whatever it was and walked downstairs. I saw my phone on the coffee table, I'm tempted to call him, but I've already convinced myself that it would be a bad idea and he probably won't want to talk to me anyways.
I wonder how he's doing. I heard he went off and started another band with Jon. Part of me wants to call him just to see if he's doing alright. No that would make me sound needy, wouldn't it?
Nevermind, why was I even considering it? I've never wanted to talk to him so bad, to hear his voice again...

Stop it Brendon! I tell myself. I can't possibly still have feelings toward him. I just miss him so much.
I want to see him again and talk like we did in the old days.

I rush upstairs and stare at the tambourine.
"You made me feel miserable about this!" I shout. I suppose it's not very healthy to be screaming at an inantimate object about how it caused you to have feelings for someone you tried to forget about. But I don't care.
I kick it across the room as hard as I can, multiple times.
Realizing what I've done, I kneel down next to it. "I'm sorry Ryan," I whisper with tears pooling in my eyes.
Sometimes I wish I could hear him sing to me when I can't sleep, just one more time.
"And if could do us over again," I sigh, "I would treat you better, and make every moment with you memorable."

Without control over any of my emotions, I start to sob violently.
"I'm so sorry!" I scream out.
I pick up the damaged tambourine off the floor. But something feels different about it.
I hear laughter, it sounds like Ryan's. I close my eyes and try to stop the tears.
Except when I open them, I'm no longer in my bedroom
Where am I?

Hey, this chapter felt really long to write even though it doesn't take long to read. Sorry if this is the longest chapter you'll get. If you could leave some suggestions for me, that would be great. I hope you have a good day/night and thank you so much for reading!
~E