I Mean, We Can Try (phan)

Part 5

(Chapter 5)

Phil's POV

MONDAYS, ew. No thanks, I'd rather spend my Mondays at home watching cheesy animes and crying in my room, not where i am right now. Walking to the newest hell hole with a purple and swollen face, crippled body, and itchy sides. Going into the building was a disaster, how do people do this everyday and be completely happy with their life? It's honestly concerning. I head to my locker instead of stopping by my first class. Imagine the jokes that would've been made if they found the blades in my bag and the sketchbook filled with half naked guys and open field sketches, it'd be awful. I'll never be that kid to drop off my bag before i leave a class for a minute. I'd never love it down if anyone saw.

At my locker, I'm right about to put my jacket in (because a jacket on top of a jumper on top of a tight long sleeved shirt is a bit much) when I feel a harsh push, then metal against my face.

"Hey, faggot" Greeaaattttttt, it's Jax and Kade, how wonderful. "Today i woke up and thought to myself, 'hmmm, today's a good day to wail on the queer' but takin' a look at you and i see someone got to you before I did" He gave a smug smile and continued, "who did it? Who do I congratulate? Was it your boyfriend? What happened? Did you piss 'em off or something? Wanna share, and not just keep staring blankly, fag?" I would love for nothing more than to fucking deck him right here and now, but I can't, "You know what, don't tell me, i wanna find out on my own and tell 'em that he did a great job giving you what you deserved. You deserve every little thing that's done to you, you're a worthless, waste of space, loser queer. No one likes you. We all have a bet around the school for when you're gonna hang yourself or slit your wrists. Some think a month, others think a few weeks, you know what i think? I think you'll go home tonight, give your wrists, legs, and sides a little attention, you'll think about killing yourself, you may even almost try, but you'll chicken out at the last second and I'll see you again tomorrow in school looking more dead inside. And you'll look at me with sad eyes so full of hatred and resentment, but you'll go to the bathrooms and give your wrists more attention than you did the night before and cry because of how pathetic you are. Does that sound right?" yes. I wasn't going to tell him that, but he's right, and by the look on his face, he knows it, too.

"Jax, let's go, class starts in a few, we wouldn't wanna deprive him of his alone time." Kade pulled Jax away, laughing and i was slightly thankful. What am i supposed to say after that? How am I supposed to react?

The bell rings and i put my jacket in my locker, almost forgetting my initial intention. I turn away from the direction that Jax and Kade went and head to the library. I have off first period everyday, so I guess the librarians are going to get to know me from now on. I open the doors and head to the back corner where i see a bookshelf blocking the view of some beanbag chairs from everyone else. It was it's own separate corner and i wasn't about to pass that up. The closer i get to my new spot, the easier it is for me to see someone else's head from above the shelves. Brown, short fringe. The closer i get the more i realise it's Dan. I let out a sigh of relief knowing that i might not have to pick a new spot.

"Hey" I initiate. I've never done that before and it felt pretty good to have him turn around and smile at me immediately. His smile vanished almost as fast and it appeared. "What's wrong?"

"You're asking me? What happened, Phil? Was it Jax and Kade? I'll kick their asses if they laid a hand on you. Did they do this?" He asked angrily whilst gesturing to my swollen face. I shook my head 'no'. "Who then? You couldn't have done this to yourself" i feel my throat start to close, slowly suffocating me. I didn't want to answer Dan's question, but if I didn't he'd beat Jax and Kade and they'd actually come after me.

Dan's POV

"Who then? You couldn't have done this to yourself" i ask. He needs to tell me, he didn't deserve this. No matter anyone's reason to wail on Phil, he definitely didn't deserve it, he's the sweetest person ever. I look at Phil expectantly, "Please, Phil, just tell me"