Reina Reina

On My Own

I swung the door open and the cold wind was like a hard slap to the face. Chills covered me head to toe and I rolled my eyes mentally cursing the fact I had to go to school today. I pulled my jacket a little tighter and crossed my arms as I headed over to Taniya's house. We lived in the same apartment complex but her building was way in the back of the neighborhood. With barely enough money to pay the bills in our house, a new winter coat was out of the question for me so by the time I reached her door I was freezing. I could hear her mother yelling so I decided to just wait on her outside. I knocked then reached in my pocket to retrieve a lighter. I lit my blunt and took a long pull before exhaling. It was about five minutes before Taniya was coming out the door.

"Better not let me find out your lil' fast ass been skipping school again either."  Taniya rolled her eyes as she slammed the door ignoring her mother.

"What she fussing about now?" I asked shaking my head.

"Girl I don't know. She just bitching like always..prolly high and rolling." Taniya brushed it off. This was an everything thing for her mother and she had eventually stopped arguing back and let her mother talk her shit.

I passed the blunt and we walked to the bus stop.

***

Sitting with Taniya at a round table in the corner of the cafeteria, we turned our heads hearing a female voice yelling approaching us.

"You got some pressure or some bitch or you just like running your mouth!?"

Oh hell no. Who she think she talking to.

Bria approached our table staring at my bestfriend. She stood there with her arms crossed staring at Taniya waiting for some sort of comeback.

Everyone had heard the rumors of Taniya talking shit about Bria, but Taniya hadn't payed them any mind because they weren't true. But there was no way she was gonna allow anyone to disrespect her.

Taniya looked up and laughed nonchalantly before responding. "Girl bye. Get the f*ck out my face before I slap yo ass out."

By the look on her face, I'm guessing she was expecting a more hostile response, but Taniya as well as myself were both on our last strike to being kicked out of school so we planned on staying out of trouble for the rest of the year. Besides, everyone knew Bria—or anyone else in the school at that—was not a challenge when it comes to either me or Taniya. Most of the time we didn't even start sh*t but trouble always seemed to find us. And that's exactly what was happening now.

Bria stood there clearly bothered by Taniya's nonchalance. By now everyone was watching to see who would make a move. "Slap me then. You might got everybody else around here shook but I ain't no punk ass b*tch and I don't like you so wassup."

Obviously irritated by this bird, Taniya stood up and stepped face to face with Bria and told her straight up. "Look I don't know what your problem with me is, but we both know I will drag yo ass. I'm not stun nothing that you talkin bout but if you really wanna fight me you know where I stay at. I'm not about to get put out of school for no petty b*tch like you."

Just as Taniya was turning around to sit back down, Bria pulled her by her hair down to the floor. She couldn't even get two hits in before I jumped up and was on her ass like white on rice. Now I'm not usually with that jumping sh*t, but it's no way in hell Im gone let this b*tch sneak my best friend and get the upper hand on her. I didn't have to intervene much before Taniya was back on her two feet beating the black off Bria. By then one of her friends was running over to jump in.

"Don't even try it b*tch" I jumped in front of her and now we were going toe to toe. Soon enough, school administrators and resource officers were breaking the brawl up. On the way to the office, all I could think was "damn" because I knew we were getting expelled.

***

After going to tribunal the following week, were both sent to CEP. This was my third time coming to alternative school and I hated it. As I was getting dressed this morning, Taniya texted me asking if I wanted to skip. I didn't hesitate to change out of my uniform and into a Nike t shirt with matching yoga pants. I slipped on an old pair of UGGs and threw on a PINK jacket. I was out the door and headed towards the 'bando' that we'd often chill and smoke in. We were in the middle of rolling our third blunt when we heard a knock at the door. I could see a police car at the end of the driveway from the window and immediately we both gathered our stuff and ran out the back door. An officer was already in the back and we had nowhere to run.

Shit!

They took us to the precinct on trespassing and possession charges.

"Johnson." I looked up hearing my last name.

"Are you uhh..Queen Naria Johnson? The C.O. asked looking down at this clipboard he held.

I nodded.

"You're free to go. Just sign here and on the next three pages and you can follow me." I was able to get out on signature bond because I was 18. Taniya, however, was still 17 and had to wait for her guardian to pick her up or someone to pay her bail. Only problem was her daddy was in prison and her mama just didn't care about her. I promised her I'd get some money up and come back to get her ASAP. I meant that too.

Up until I was eight years old, my mama, daddy, and I stayed in a big fancy crib in Buckhead. My daddy was some big Kingpin in the city. Shortly after my eighth birthday, he was arrested on a 12 years bid. My mother was forced to move us to some project on the Southside. We struggled to maintain the lifestyle my father had established for us. After that, my mama was so depressed it's like she ain't even here.

I met Taniya when we moved to the Southside and we been tight ever since. Taniya's mom was on drugs and don't care for nothing or nobody unless she's getting a fix and she never knew her father.

When I left the precinct, I caught a bus back to my neighborhood. Stepping off the bus, I looked both ways before crossing the street. As I walked through my neighborhood I observed my surroundings and really began to realize what a dump this place was. There were kids of all ages skipping school at the playground. The older kids were in a huddle smoking while younger kids watched two boys that had to be no older than 8 years old fighting. When I finally reached our apartment, I sat on the porch for a while thinking about how we got here. I was very young when my father went to jail but I still remember pretty vividly having a nice home in a quiet suburban neighborhood. I wondered how different life would be if he was still here. I probably wouldn't always be in so trouble. My mama would definitely not be as fucked up in the head and we surely wouldn't be struggling the way we do. I was interrupted by my thoughts when a lady walked up to the doer next to ours. She knocked twice, then three times, then four. I knew the man that lives next door sold drugs so I'm assuming she was a jay. I decided to get up finally and go in the house. As I walked in I immediately noticed the red paper on the kitchen counter top. I rolled my eyes thinking this was the third eviction warning we'd received in the past month. As I made my way into the dining and living room I noticed some things were out of place. I would say it looked like we'd been robbed, but there was barely anything to take. There were just some personal belongings that were gone and the house was a mess. Confused, I went upstairs looking for my mama and she was nowhere to be found. Her closet was completely empty and most of the basic hygiene items from the bathroom as well. We couldn't have been evicted because the furniture was still in the house and the doors hadn't been locked so I was confused as to where my mother was and why she'd taken all of her things. I tried to make logic of it but all I could come up with was that she'd left and had no plans on coming back. Sure enough I was right. I waited at the house all night and there was no sign of my mother. No one in the neighborhood had seen her since earlier in the morning. It was now 3 a.m. and I laid in my bed trying to figure out what I was going to do. I had no family here since my mom never talked to her family and my dad was from Chicago so I never even met his side of the family. All the family I ever had after my dad left was my mom...and now she was gone.