Saving Yoko

Prologue

        The storm washed away my sorrow. Slowly but still. It was also washing my underpants, because I didn't have a washer. But yet I could not get over the fact he was gone. Poor Yoko. He had died saving me and now he's gone. Gone like he was picked up carried by the wind to heaven. Just like my underpants, because they had just fallen off the rack and into the deep blue sea of sorrow.
       Sadness, loneliness, broken. Without Yoko this is all I am, all I will be... forever. I replayed the moments with Yoko over and over, like a broken record, as I see my underwear start to blow away in the wind, like his sliding paws on the ice. I know what you're thinking... 'Why didn't he just go get his underwear?' That's what you're thinking isn't it? OK, when you're having a mental-brake-down the last thing you think about is your underwear, trust me. Come on! I'm trying to be as dramatic as possible here! Oh forget it... just keep reading...
        It's not like I abandoned Yoko, he left me. The only one that loved me in this world, gone. The dog I'd had since childhood, gone. Just like my mom who I never knew, gone. And the father that took me to actually loved me, only to find out I wasn't his real daughter, or even just a girl at that, gone. Why is my life so terrible?
         I can see Yoko's face, eating potatoes in the backyard, imprinted in my mind. Hard to talk. Hard to think. Hard to breath. My stomach is turning. Why couldn't I help? Why couldn't I save him?
            I cry myself to sleep every night. I try to drown them out until my wet pillow has no more room for my memories of Yoko. But they still stay... they won't leave until I fix what I have done... but I can't. No one in this world will ever be able to bring back the love Yoko and I shared, or even my underpants. They are both gone forever. So I will continue to walk with my sadness floating over me like the dust on a kitchen counter that has missed the cutting of onions on it for it's entire life, and now it is old, dusty, dry, and has no more use in the world as a cutting board.
         People say he was just a dog, but he was more than that. They say "move on" or "just get over it" But I can't. They just don't understand my struggles, my pain. How would they feel if everything, and the only one they loved suddenly disappeared? Why can't they just leave me alone?! They don't need to understand, I just want to be alone! Alone... with Yoko... who will never come back... Just like my mother, who wasn't there in the first place... Just like my father and our fake love... Just like my underpants who are the luckiest things on earth, because they get to go be with Yoko in heaven...