This is the first part of the master-post explaining what exactly self-esteem is and how it affects our lives and behaviours. This first bit is just an introduction to self-esteem, what it actually is and a brief explanation of the two main types.
So, what is self-esteem?
According to google,
self-esteem
ˌsɛlfɛˈstiːm/
noun
confidence in one's own worth or abilities; self-respect.
"assertiveness training for those with low self-esteem"
synonyms:
self-respect, self-regard, pride in oneself/one's abilities, faith in oneself, pride, dignity, morale, self-confidence, confidence, self-assurance, assurance, amour propre.
The concept of self-esteem is quite a tricky one to describe, but can basically be referred as to how we perceive our value in our relationships and to the world. Self-esteem affects pretty much all aspects of our lives and can be simply split into two separate branches: High (positive) or low (negative).
Having a positive self-esteem gives us the opportunity to be resilient and malleable when we make mistakes, and allows for personal growth and reflection. Attributes include: confidence, self-direction, awareness of personal strengths and limitations, acceptance, independence, non-blaming behaviour and good self-care, to name a few.
Having a positive self-esteem is often falsely linked to narcissism. People with a healthy self-esteem acknowledge their strengths and failings and still manage to accept and like themselves. However, narcissists often have large amounts of uncertainty about themselves which creates a self-protective sense of grandeur – so they have high self-esteem, but it is insecure. In this way, narcissism can actually be considered as a characteristic of low self-esteem, which is further explained below.
Having a negative attitude towards self-esteem often hinders people from realizing their true potential. Such people may feel unworthy and incapable of love and trusting relationships. Having low self-esteem may actually contribute to continued negative feelings, thus leading to a seemingly never-ending cycle. Characteristics include: having a negative outlook on life, a perfectionist attitude, mistrusting people – even those who show affection, fear of taking risks and being ridiculed and dependence on others to make decisions for them.
For an individual with low self-esteem, anything positive may raise self-esteem, but this will mostly be temporary – attempts to raise self-esteem will produce a "boom or bust" cycle. Compliments, for example, produce a boost in self-esteem, but a lack of such feedback induces a bust. So, in this way, self-esteem is unpredictable.
Trying to get over or letting go of these negative feelings is definitely not an easy task, as most of these emotions build up over a lifetime and depend on life experiences and circumstances. It will take time and perhaps counselling. However, self-esteem can be improved by using some simple, positive thinking techniques called affirmations. These are encouraging messages we can give ourselves daily and can be used to stop negative self-talk. Within time, they may become ingrained into our beliefs.
Giving yourself affirmations works best when you are relaxed – however, people often get incredibly upset and worked up when they are giving themselves negative messages, so the affirmations need to be created simultaneously to replace these. A simple way to begin affirming is to start each day by looking in the mirror and giving yourself a positive message. This will help, even if you don't believe the words you are saying. Slowly, you will start believing in them. Messages may be: "I am lovable", "I care about myself", "I look good", or anything else you may need to tell yourself.
I hope this was helpful for you, please feel free to leave a comment if anything needs further explanation. Or you know, just leave a comment.
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What is #ProjectSelfEsteem
RandomThis is a book that gives you a little bit of info about who and what Project Self Esteem is. #ProjectSelfEsteem #PSE
