Tempest // n.h. HOLD

b

Tempest giggles, hair flowing in the wind as she rushes towards the water. It was hotter today so the water was more enjoyable, not that the weather being cooler would stop her.

I saw her stand in the water that went to her chest, a devilish smile placed on her lips as she fell backwards into the overlapping waves.

My heart picked up with worry for her as my mind wandered over the possibilities of what could happen under the water. My mind went to the one question that I pushed away with all my might, but still managed to wiggle back in; what will happen when I'm not there to pull her back up?

I ran into the water and drove under when I saw her small, pale body. I pulled her up and into a hug. "Please stop doing that."

"No." She breathed rapidly.

"You're gonna kill yourself, Tempest." I said, stroking her hair.

"That's the fun of it." She said, running back to shore.

I joined her on the sand. She was looking out at the skyline where as I was looking at her, soaking up her and everything she had to offer. I bore my eyes into her, mapping out every freckle, scar and vain. I kissed her cheek, but she didn't move.

I didn't hold back my tears when they sprung to my eyes. That was the beauty of this beach, when we're here it doesn't matter what we do or how we act or what we feel, because it's just us.

"You need help." I whispered.

"And who's going to give it to me? Because if it isn't you then I don't want it." She said as she clutched the sand with her toes.

"I can't give you help when I need it myself." I pulled her into a hug.

"Why don't you get help then?"

"Because I need to make sure that you're okay first." I admitted.

"That's stupid."

"I know."

She started to laugh, one that radiated warmth and love. A laugh that brightened the skies, but made your heart skink. A laugh that was hallow and eerily calm. A broken laugh.

"We are so messed up." She said, laughing.

I nodded my head, not finding it funny at all.

"Do you want to go grab a bite?" I asked, hoping that her answer would have changed.

"Do I eat?"

I shook my head. "No. But you're hungry."

"I think that's why they call it anorexia." She mumbled.

"But you're hungry." I pleaded.

"Niall, I'm not eating so get over it."

"Please." I whispered.

"I'll eat when you stop cutting." She said, emotionless.

"I'm trying."

"Great. Now let's go wander the streets." She ran off as if nothing had just happened. 

I wiped my eyes, slipping on my shoes and ran after her. Somehow along the way she had put on her own shoes which were flip-flops. 

Seconds, minutes, hours had passed of silence. No talking, no thinking, nothing. 

"I don't deserve you, do I?" Tempest whispered.

"Why would you ever ask that?" I turned her body towards mine and looked into her eyes. 

Those once brown eyes that held a magical shimmer were gone and those brown eyes that were constantly glazed over with sadness were back. "Because I don't."

"Te-"

"I know we're not at the beach, but I have to say this and don't you dare reply," She said as tears filled up her mocha brown eyes. "I don't deserve you, because I'm the one keeping you from getting better. I don't deserve you, because I'm not the most beautiful girl. I don't deserve you, because I don't have the best personality. I don't deserve you, because I'm broken. I don't deserve you, because I'm me."

My lips parted, just itching to say something back, but I knew I shouldn't. I knew she wouldn't listen; that she'd just block it all out, ignoring all the words that slithered out in a rush of passion and sadness.

She started walking again, this time without me. 

Maybe she's just too broken to fix.

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i dont really know but i like writing this. yay. -A x