The Cipher

Chapter two

Where our sudden sorrow came from, I don't know. I thought we had been all cried out when we had first accepted Jensen, Aurora, and Kian's death. Something about Axel's arrival had given us a strange sort of hope in the beginning, but once we realized he would die, I'm not sure what broke our spirits.

We hardly even knew Axel. But I suppose that is what shook me the most. The fact that he died for us; to deliver a stupid message; to get a dumb answer. We weren't even sure what injured him in the way he was to begin with.

Was he mauled by an animal? Did he trip and fall down a rocky hill? Did HQ chase him out of the Society and attempt to capture him?

Cyrus and I were rather solemn in the days following Axel's death. We weren't mad at one another, but we were trapped in our own minds; which perhaps was worse. Nothing is worse than being entrapped in a mind muddled with depressed and suicidal thoughts.

At this point, I just wanted to die. My life wasn't worth living anymore. Sure, I had Cyrus, but nothing would ever be the same, would it? Nothing could revive our relationship that we used to have. Nothing.

I had come to the consensus that yes, love was wonderful, but it was false. It would bite you in the ass whether it was in the form of death, rejection, betrayal, or whatever the case may be. Love was a trick devised by some greater being to play with us foolish little humans.

Why would I ask all of The Land's population to fall for such a painful and demented trick? Love drives you to do things that you would never think you would do, and it might not always be positive, either.

As the days passed this way, with Cyrus and I giving each other the cold shoulder, I felt like my conclusion was nothing but true.

After a week of this solitude, Cyrus finally spoke. "Should we go?"

He didn't need to specify where, we both knew he meant the Society.

When I didn't answer, he spoke again. "It was his dying wish, Aspen. We should go."

I brought my fingers to the sides of my nose, massaging away the stress. "I know."

"So yes, then? We're gonna go?"

Shaking my head, I looked up. "Yes. No..." I trailed off, unsure of myself. "I don't know. Maybe. I just don't feel like it's worth the fight anymore."

Cyrus's face took on a look of disappointment and sadness. "Why do you feel that way?"

"I don't know, after everything that has happened to us, I just don't think love is worth it. It's unstable, and it can hurt you. It can be taken away just as quickly as it can be instated. You're telling me you don't feel that way?"

His eyes held so much hurt in that moment, that it was the first time I longed to kiss his pain away in a long time.

"It's not only about the love, Aspen. It's about freedom. Freedom to be your own person. Freedom to write, to draw, to explore, to invent, and to be happy."

I scoffed. "Then what have you been all depressed about lately?" the words came out harsher than I had intended.

"Well, if you didn't notice, my entire family was murdered not too long ago. I suppose it is my mistake that the grief and misery are only hitting me now." he spat, anger laced within his words.

Instantly, I felt like a jerk. Of course he would be hurting more than I would be, that was his mother and his father and his brother. How would I have coped with that? Once again, I wasn't thinking of Cyrus' emotions; only mine.

"I'm sorry Cyrus." I said, almost exasperated. "It's been tough for all of us, I didn't mean it that way."

His face softened, reminding me of his father. "No, it's okay. You're still new to all of this, you couldn't possibly understand any of it yet."