One By One (editing)

Chapter Twenty

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 Scalding hot water spilled over my hands as I ran them under the bathroom faucet. But even as my hands grew red from the temperature, I was numb to the pain.

"Me. The kidnapper is me." It was a constant replay.

I turned the faucet off with a yank, flicking drops of water on my flushed face.

Carter, you have to get yourself out of this routine. Every night something happens and the next morning all you can do is think about it. You can't focus on the past if you have the present to worry about.

Staring at the mirror, I touched my fingers to the reflection, slowly splaying them out. The girl had black hair, blue eyes, some freckles. She looked exactly like me but I wasn't sure how she seemed so detached and calm with what her mom told her last night in a 24/7 Diner when I couldn't keep anything together. I couldn't just go with the flow like her, I was worrying about every single thing.

"Whatever it takes." Whatever is takes. What does that mean? What did I blindly sign up for?

The shrill bell screamed for me to stop torturing myself and snap out of the constant replays. Though the anger at everyone and everything still lingered, I jerked my hand back from the mirror before fixing my hair like a normal high-schooler with none of these problems does before she leaves the bathroom, then headed to the library for free period with my backpack slung on my shoulder.

Quietly, I took a seat at one of the tables towards the back. As I took out my books, my phone buzzed with a text from Drew.

Where do you wanna meet?

My thumbs flew over the screen: Back table of the library. We weren't as close of friends as Mandy and I or a couple of the other girls in our group, but she always made me smile and we took advantage of our study hall to hang out.

Gotcha. Be there in a sec.

Drew showed up a minute later, steaming coffee in one hand and her earbuds in the other. Her black hair was piled on her head in a messy bun, and even though we'd already had all of our morning classes, she looked like she just woke up. Knowing Drew and her less than ecstatic attitude about school, she probably did.

"I'm gonna go look for another source on that English project. Wanna come with?"

"Sure, why not?" She mumbled, cupping her coffee and following me down the aisles like a zombie.

I scanned the bindings, my fingertips skimming over the ones I didn't need. Drew leaned up against the bookshelves, making a face at every single book she laid her eyes on. She tapped her fingers against the shelves, her dark skin contrasting sharply against the light wood.

"You done yet?"

I laughed quietly. "I just started looking."

"Hurry. They smell awful like dirty socks and old people homes." She wrinkled up her nose and turned to sniff the bitter smell of her coffee. I couldn't help but laugh again, grateful for the feeling of my anger slowly withering away.

"Alright, alright. Hang on. I'll be back in a minute." I disappeared behind the corner and found a book that looked like it contained the right material I needed. Flipping through the pages, I saw that I was right, it was what I needed. But as I flipped, my attention redirected from the book to a flash of blonde hair that swung through the spaces between the books to the person who turned around to catch my eye. Lauren. She smirked, sauntering around the corner with a book in hand.