darkness proceeds to follow me down the dimly lit street, creeping closer and closer, making trip over my own feet.
although i'm desperately afraid of darkness, i deeply regret wishing for light. the light screeches, yanking out my soul, screaming in my ears, burning my eyes. but the darkness is frightening me.
________________________________
i'm afraid of death as well of living. in death i will hurt the people around me, they will be filled with dreadful sorrow because i was too selfish and i left them. inconsiderate. but if i am living and loving i'm hurting you too, i say i will stay but it's not good for you. i'm irritable and i always stutter, you say there's room in your heart but your heart is all cluttered, i see in your eyes you want me to go, but you promise to stay but i know it's not so.
________________________________
i am horridly afraid of water, but the land does me no bodily harm. well, i stumble and fall, but that is no one's fault but my own.
________________________________
i am afraid of people. it's more of a disease. there's people who look at me, i don't like it. they ask me to talk. i don't like it. but i hide amongst people, they help. sometimes. they are full of love and laughter and kindness and hope and fear and many many many things. they are great. but they too are monsters.
________________________________
but consider all the things you are afraid of. consider that they are things you love. you are afraid of heights but you love to fly. you are afraid of love but you love him. you are afraid of being wrong yet you debate about a subject you know nothing about. you are afraid, but you will bloom.
________________________________
I Am Afraid But The Darkness Will Not Get Me
