there is a part of me that wants to end everything
i want to
there's oceans raging in my head
deafening noise screaming and there's nothing i can do nothing to stop it
i cannot help myself
i want to
there's something pushing me to push myself onto other people
to be loved
to be happy
i want to
there's something peculiar about me
i can't be loved
i can't be saved
i want to
there's people laughing all around me
they obviously love me
and yet i still push myself to still believe they don't love me
i am afraid
i am afraid you'll leave
that they'll leave
that everyone will leave once i say a word or take a step in the right direction
once i do something for me
once i am finally become comfortable with myself
and with you
and with them
they will leave me and i will be back where i once was and always will be
alone
I Don't Want To
