The Heart of Alexander

Chapter Thirty Five- Deceit At Its Finest

I was escorted silently back to the sister wives where they still lounged about. Night was now upon the city and I noticed some of the sister wives were now missing, probably awaiting Ambhi's company in their chambers. They all stood with my entrance, but I kept my eyes casted down. How could I look them in the eyes after trying and failing to ignite a passionate flame? What strange things had fallen upon me? How could I think that I could change my role in the world, let alone all women in the world? It was complete nonsense.

Pulling me close, Hephaiston took my hands in his, "I am sorry you had to see that. Forgive him for his behavior. He is just perplexed with himself,"

"It's not your fault that he has become a drunkard," I said in response.

"Yes, but he is my best friend. I should have never let him fall so low within himself. He is losing himself everyday," Hephaiston spoke quietly, almost like he was ashamed, "I will go calm him down now, my queen,"

As Hephaiston left, I thought about my strange relationship with him. When I met him, I despised him, did not trust him. Slowly, but surely, things changed. He became a kind man. He was much like Alexander, misunderstood. No wonder they created an unbreakable bond. But as I began to know him, the more I began to see him as a friend instead of a foe. I had given him charge of my army. If I trusted him with that, I could also trust him with life.

"Roxana," I said.

Hephaiston stopped in his tracks, lifting his head and looking over his shoulder at me "Excuse me, my queen?"

With a smile, I spoke, "Call me Roxana,"

A small smile made its way to his lips and he nodded, "Roxana,"

As he left, I felt as though I had made a friend. Among these people I could only trust a particular few. I thought of those that I was acquainted with in camp. There was Perdiccas, Hephaiston, Cassander, and Cleitus. It was the last two that I had to watch my back about. I had a sink feeling in the pit of my stomach that two had it out for my head on a spear.

Without looking over my shoulder, I could feel the girls' gazes piercing into me. I sighed heavily and rolled back my shoulders. I had to at least appear okay. No one could see my failure, it would only bring my cause down more than I already have. Not like it really matters now anyway, I thought.

Turning around, I slumped down on the silk covered couch across from Mandra in defeat, my mind swirling in thoughts of what were to happen next. According to Alexander's astronomers and philosophers, we were almost at the edge of the world. I did not know why he desired to seek the end. What did he think he would find?

I looked to Mandra and sighed. Perhaps she was right about the world's ways. My mind was too progressive for my time, believing in such fantasies that a woman could change the world and could change the fate of her kind. But to be looked down upon by my own husband was a disgrace to myself.

"It is okay, Roxana. You did your best," Mandra said, putting on her motherly voice as she bounced her daughter in her lap.

Lifting my head slowly, my eyes met hers with defiance, "It is not over just yet. Consider this my final stand," I replied in confidence.

Leaning towards Mandra, a smirk was displayed on my lips, "I need to make myself sick,"

"Roxana, do not be ridiculous. This is not going to change his mind on the matter. You are just going to end up causing yourself more problems," Mandra scolded and the other sister wives nodded in agreement and whispered amongst themselves.

"He might move forward even if his soldiers are unwell, but he is not going to want to move forward if his queen is sick. Please, Mandra, I just need some sort of concoction to make me temporarily ill. I am begging you," I plead.