Silently

Chapter Four- Panic

Chapter Four

Once I reached home I ran straight to the field, grateful that Brett was not home. I sat in the middle like I do every time and let the anxiety spread through my body, squeezing my lungs to the point where I couldn't breathe. I couldn't breathe. I gasped for air, hating the familiar feeling. I have had way too many panic attacks for someone my age, but they never stopped, there was always something that would trigger one. I hated being scared, weak and vulnerable.

I tried to relax my thoughts and count to ten, eventually my breathing evened out and the pain subsided. But my worries weren't gone they never were. Brett would be home soon and he was expecting dinner tonight. I leaped to my feet and sprinted back to my house and into the kitchen to start his dinner.

Half an hour later I had just put dinner on the table when he walked through the door. I kept quiet like he always said I should, and sat down to eat my own dinner.

"This is cold," Brett said bluntly.

"Would you like me to warm it up?" I replied.

"No but you shall be punished later." He said with an evil gleam in his eyes.

I looked back at my food as I shallowed the big lump in my throat, trying to prepare myself for another beating.

After dinner I was roughly grabbed and led downstairs to the basement. Brett only took me down here when he was really mad. He shoved me against the wall and chained up my wrists so I couldn't go anywhere. The basement was dark and dirty with a stale smell, I hated this place and he knew it. I had my very first panic attack down here and I have one almost every time I'm here. My thoughts were interrupted when Brett stalked towards me with a large knife in his hands, laughing to himself. I tried to steady my breathing but like always it didn't help. I looked up to see Brett smirking at me before he plunged the knife into my leg. I screamed as the pain increased, black dots starting to blur my vision as tears leaked from my eyes while I slipped into unconsciousness.

                                                                                           ~

School was the same for the rest of the week, Sam walked with me to every class, sat with me at lunch and everyone else would make fun of me, glare or push me around. Sam hadn't said much to me since Tuesday, he looked like something was bothering him. I wanted to know what it was and the words were so close to coming out of my mouth but every time I would hear Brett's voice in my head reminding me what would happen if I spoke. Brett was scared that if I spoke I would tell someone what he does to me, I wouldn't do that though. As much as I hated what he did to me he was still my father and I loved him.

Right now I was sitting in my fourth period class silently complaining about the amount of homework we had. Once the bell rang I packed up my things and exited the classroom. I began walking towards the doors so I could go outside but my wrist was roughly grabbed. The action was something Brett often did and I turned around expecting to see him but was surprised when I saw Jorden and a few of his friends.

"Hey freak," he said which made me frown.

In the blink of an eye I was roughly shoved against the lockers causing a whimper to escape my lips from the pain. Jorden and his friends just laughed at me, but I didn't see them, all I saw was Brett. One night he had come home much more drunk then usual and strangled me, he had almost killed me. The memory alone caused me to start hyperventilating, add that to the situation I was in and I started to have yet another panic attack. Jorden and his friends, realizing how much they we scaring me, quickly dropped me to the ground and ran away like nothing happened.

I hated having panic attacks at school, anyone who saw would just look at me like I grew two heads and not stop to help, it's not like they could help anyway. As I was struggling to breathe I heard my name being called, I didn't look up to see who it was, there was no point when I couldn't answer.

"Hailey!" The voice yelled again.

I looked up to see Sam running towards me looking worried.

"Hailey! Come on I need you to breathe." Sam told me.

I tried to do what he said but I couldn't get oxygen into my lungs.

"I'm sorry if you don't like this but it's the only way I know how to stop a panic attack." He warned me.

I tilted my head, confused what he meant then I realized he was leaning closer and in no time his lips were on mine. His lips were warm and soft and sent a funny feeling through me. A few seconds' later Sam pulled back and smiled at me,

"You're okay now," he simply said.

That's when I realized my breathing had gone back to a steady, even rate. Who knew kissing could stop a panic attack.

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Hello everyone.

OVER 100 READS !!!!!                                                                                                                                                     I'm so happy right now, thank you to everyone who has read. 

I just wanted to say that I have done some research about whether kissing can actually stop a panic attack. It can but it doesn't work for everyone. Just wanted to clear that up in case some people were confused.

- Georgia :)