Meant to be Broken [boyxboy] [Watty Awards 2012]

Chapter Nine

Ives spent the next week watching videos online of how to play air hockey, until he was sure he knew all the rules. He didn't want to be beat immediately, even if it was just friendly competition. After all, where was the fun in never having a chance?

That didn't stop him from letting Tomi explain the rules to him before they played – or, what he could remember of the rules.

"I haven't played in a while," he admitted, "so half of what I said is probably wrong."

"Nah," Ives assured him, "I read about it online. You got most of it, I think."

But the online studying didn't save him. Tomi still beat him, but not by much.

"Rematch?" Tomi asked with a smile.

Ives put down his mallet and backed away. "I retire."

Tomi grinned. "Xbox instead?" he offered.

"Fine with me," Ives declared.

Tomi's mom was in the kitchen when they came up from the basement. She smiled and motioned to a plate of cookies on the table. "I was about to come see you, boys. I have to get some shopping done. Help yourselves to some cookies, I'll be back in a few hours."

"Thanks, Mom,” Tomi replied, taking a cookie. "We're going to play some video games."

She smiled, but Ives wasn't sure it was genuine. "Have fun."

They took some cookies upstairs to Tomi's room, the big black lab, Scout, following. Halfway up the stairs, Ives said quietly, "I don't think your mom likes me."

Tomi just shrugged. "She still hardly knows you. She's probably worried that you're not 'normal' like my other friends."

A black-and-white cat watched them from the end of the hallway as they went to Tomi's room.

"That's Timmy. Yeah, weird name for a cat, I know. We got him when I was eight. I thought the name was good back then. Sorry about the mess," Tomi added as they walked into his room. He set the cookies down on a cluttered dresser so he could pull the sheets up on his queen-size bed and throw a stray sock into a clothes hamper hanging out of the open closet. "I didn't even think to clean it."

"It's cleaner than mine, don't worry," Ives stated, scanning the room. It was dark, with blue walls and overflowing bookshelves. Papers were scattered around – many of them graded school assignments from what Ives could see – and a few posters dotted the walls.

Tomi walked to the large TV on the far wall and switched it on, then the Xbox, and proceeded to clean up some more while they waited for the system to load. Ives felt completely comfortable there, since it was so much like his room. He sat down on the bed and leaned his head against the wall.

With a sigh, Tomi sat down next to him, running a hand through his hair. He was silent for a while, then asked, "Can I talk to you?"

"What's up?" Ives asked, glancing over. To him, Tomi suddenly seemed nervous, the way he was fidgeting with his numerous earrings and hardly looking at Ives.

"I... I think I'm bi." His face was red by the time he finished.

"You 'think'?" Ives asked in response.

Tomi ran a hand through his hair again and let himself fall back, so he was laying in an awkward position with his legs dangling and his head on the pillow. "I don't know... I find a lot of guys really attractive, but I can't be gay because a lot of girls are really attractive, too. Okay, so I am. I just... I don't know what to do about it!"

Ives sat up straight to look at his friend. "Why do you have to 'do' anything?" he questioned. "It's your personal life, no one needs to know and no one has the right to care."

"You haven't told anyone about being pan?" Tomi questioned, and Ives could tell he was looking for more assurance.

Ives snorted. "Just you. People make their own judgments based on the things you say and the way you act. That's how people are. I'm pretty sure my mom thinks I'm gay, my dad always avoided the subject, and my sister thinks I'm bi. I don't really care. They could all call me a dragon and I'd be fine. Labels are just stupid."

Tomi nodded. "I just needed to say it to someone. I've been so confused."

"What's so confusing?" Ives asked with a shrug. "If anything, the world should be less confusing. You have twice as many options. That's how I've always seen it, that I have so many people to choose from and it doesn't matter what they are." He put a hand on Tomi's shoulder. "But I can still understand. Not everyone sees things that way. Don't worry about talking to me. And if you feel like you need to 'do' something, join the GSA or something. Madison has one, right?"

Tomi nodded again, and smiled a little. "Yeah. Don't know if I'll join though. But, thank you, Ives."

Ives smiled. "No problem. I think the Xbox is finally loaded."

Tomi sat up and picked a controller up off the floor. "Let's see if I can beat you at something else," he said as he got up to get a second controller and put in a game.

"It's on. For real this time," Ives declared.