Life's A Drag

~Teaser~

Excerpt that's meant to be way ahead in the book. 

I could feel my pulse through my fingertips and the bass of the music vibrating through my chest. My eyes kept shifting around, looking for the next possible threat.

It was not too long ago that I found comfort in scenes exactly like this. It didn't matter much if I knew anyone at the party because by the end of the night I would find my place and a new group of my own. Every move wasn't thought out.

I didn't have to try to enjoy the moment. I just enjoyed.

I didn't have to try and look as if I belonged. I just blended.

My every move wasn't calculated in an effort to look effortless.

Granted being high would help with the confidence and the ability to block out the rest of the world. Being sober right now made me painfully aware of every elbow that jammed me to get through the crowd and every short breath from the stuffy air and the impending panic attack.

But it's so much more than that. The skin I once wore as armor for situations like this no longer fits.

I'm no longer me. Or am I more myself than ever before?

All I could focus on was how hot I was. How the smell of weed, beer, and sweat that once brought me joy now made me gag. I needed to get out and find myself a new set of armor because this clearly wasn't working.

I gave myself a mental pat on the back for finding the will to show up to the party. But that was as far as it was going to go tonight. I'd have to apologize to Lucy later. She was a sweet girl and I was looking forward to hanging out but this wasn't the best scene to do it in.

As my resolve to leave strengthened, I began to work my way through the masses towards the front door.

"What the fuck?! Did you just spill your fucking beer on my girl, bro?"

"Relax, man, it was an accident."

"No, man. This pussy thinks he's hot shit over here. Apologize for spilling your fucking beer on my date, asshole!"

The loud voices of what sounded like a tipsy frat boy and his friend trying to hold him back were coming from my left. I've heard fights start out this way a thousand times. The combination of alcohol and bravado made some guys need to prove they're hot shit. Especially if there's a girl involved. A macho guy ready to fight for your honor? Talk about a panty melter.

I've seen so many situations like this and me and Danny would crack jokes about how ridiculous they were. But in this moment, all I felt was terror. Pure terror.

The yelling continued but all it sounded like was a garbled sound that caused my heartbeat to elevate. Until it was someone else's voice I was hearing. And those yells and insults were directed at me. My vision started to blacken around the edges and I was suddenly feeling lightheaded.

All I saw was black and white bathroom tiles.

Specs of blood.

A leg coming in for another swing.

The sound of vomiting behind me.

"You made me do this. You made me."

I couldn't breathe. I shoved people out of my way, everything a blur. I heard a few cries of protests but I was far from caring. I needed out. And I needed out now.