My Secret Lover

The Kiss

My heart was pounding, I couldn't hear anything else. It just came out, I didn't mean for that to happen. My body was hot, I started to feel sweaty.  My palms were wet of all the sweat, I had to take my sweater off, I did not know that would happen. I didn't want it to happen this way, why did it happen?

It was that guy, Felix touched him in a way that made me angry, I didn't think he would ever touch another guy like that. It happened, and it was amazing but terrifying. Felix, why didn't he stop me? Why did he want me there? It wasn't possible, but it did happen, and it was possible.

As I rushed back home, my brother saw me and ran to me, I told him I needed to go home quickly and just lie down. I dreamt about what had happened, it was a vivid memory, and I was terrified to go back to school.

My dream started as the ending of 5th period, I was heading to my locker when Felix was at his with some guy. I didn't think anything about it, until the guy touched Felix on the cheek, and gave him a quick peck. I was dumbfounded, Felix touched the guy's biceps, and looked down and blushed. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, I could feel the heat all over my body. Relief and anger swept my body, I wanted him to touch me like that. Then he turned, I took a step back, he could see the distraught in my face and then I ran to the fourth floor of the school which was empty.

I can hear his footsteps running right behind me, he was breathing hard. My eyes felt wet, I didn't know what this was, was I crying? I touched my cheeks, and there they were, the useless things that indicated my grief. I can hear him gasping for air, it was over, he was going to find out. I had no where else to go, my heart felt as if it was getting squeezed, my heart was breaking.

"R-Richie a-are you okay" he asked, trying to catch his breath, "Richie, why did you run?"

I couldn't look at him, I knew he was staring at me, I was afraid to look at him. "It was nothing"

"Come on man, I know it wasn't nothing"

"Felix, leave it alone" I was breaking, I couldn't handle it

"Come on, I'm your best friend, just tell me" he insisted

I was angry, "I told you to leave it alone!" I was so close

"Just t-" I grabbed him and kissed him

He broke it off, and looked at me, and he did the unexpected, he grabbed me and kissed me again. There we were, sharing our DNA, our tongues danced inside each other's mouths. Then he started to get a little too touchy, he started to unzip my pants. I panicked and pushed him away, the bell rang, and I ran downstairs.

He was in my sixth period, he came in two minutes later. We looked at each other from across the room, he burned his stare into me.

"Felix, where's your biology book?" The teacher asked snapping him out of his trance, "I left it in Richie's locker by accident" my heart dropped, I knew what the teacher would say

"Richie, I see you don't have your book either, go with Felix, so you both have your books" she smiled as she handed us the hall pass

As soon as the door closed behind us, he grabbed my hand and took me back to the fourth floor, even though I was bigger than him, but at that moment I had no strength. I saw the back of his head, his hair was short, but I could smell his shampoo. I smelled his perfume, it hit me as we ran up the three flights of stairs. I didn't know what he wanted. My heart started to beat faster, my cheeks started to feel hot the blood was rushing up to my cheeks. Then we stopped, and so did my heart, something was going to happen.

He grabbed my shirt and back me up to the lockers, the pain was nothing compared to confusion I had, the his lips crashed into mine. He let go of my shirt and grabbed my hair, I felt myself get dragged into the passionate kiss we were sharing, our tongues danced again, my eyes were closed. We stopped to breathe, he looked at me, and started to kiss my neck, my cheek, he kissed everything. If it was visible he kissed it, then I blurted it out, I said "I love you", he stopped in his tracks, he was shocked. Then I ran, I ran to the bathroom and I hid in a stall. I didn't cry, I was dumbfounded by what I had done.

The bell rang again, that was the last period of the day. We had soccer after school, I texted one of the guys saying that I felt sick, I went into the empty classroom, the teacher told me that Felix explained already. I grabbed my things and ran home. What did it mean? Why did it have to happen like this? My palms were sweaty, I was sweaty. I was fucked, Felix knew what I felt. His sexual nature was a little to hardcore for me. What was I going to do?