The "Actual" Story of Creation

A War is Coming

So after thousands of years Xenu decide to overthrow and conquer earth back against his brother Buddha so he set up an army named the "human race" but he didn't see one fatal flaw they we're all mentally retarded and we're called Brians they set up the and landed on earth and Buddha exclaimed "what are you doing skrub cunt" so Xenu being a pussy released the army of Brian's and Buddha went combo Saiyan with ease and killed Xenu like a faggot so then he decided to help the dormant Brian's and help them evolve to get decent intelligence and cherished the humans with a earth