Dead But Breathing

Never Let Go

Looking back at the memories,
I would call them the best ones,
Even after you committed those felonies,
You never stopped being a friend.
Yes, it was hard watching you cut yourself,
Watching you finish that pill capsule.
Why did all of those words get to you?
When you shed tears of blood,
I was never there,
But that doesn't mean I didn't care.
I should of told you before
That you were beautiful
Precious
Independent
Strong
Twice the more than you think or imagine.
***
...Leah Zeqaj was one of my best friends in primary school. She committed suicide after so much bullying. Of course she couldn't handle all of that at the age of eleven. Leah, I know I wasn't there to make this eulogy at your funeral. Maybe it was for the best. You were like a sister to me. You were always strong and you never believed what others used to say to you. What happened? It's hard to just "forget" a person you've known for years since nursery. I still remember that day when I pushed the swings to hard and you fell. That was the first day I met you. And then after you never...you never stopped chasing after me and we didn't realise it was dusk from all the fun we were having. I remember that day of Shefali's birthday at the ice skating rink. You kept on falling on the ice and nearly broke your arm. I helped you because I was already level five from all the practise I had. You were the one who showed me around he school on my first day. Remember the day I cut your hair? I still don't forgive myself. But it was fun. Every memory with and of you was fun. I was always laughing. Never had we been in a fight. Even never kept secrets from each other. You converted into a Muslim in Year 6. I'm proud to call you my sister in Islam. :) I wish I was there to show you the mosque. Leah. I miss you. May Allah grant you the best in the Hereafter. Ameen.
Dedicated to LEAH ZEQAJ. My only friend. My only sister. My half. R.I.P . ❤️