street lights // joji fic

1

When I first saw him I didn't think much of him, if I'm being honest. He didn't strike me as somebody who stood out from your typical guy who likely worked too much and slept too little. I mean he wasn't average by any means, in fact I'd say he was above average in looks and, now that I stop and think about it, his style and mess of black hair did catch my eye after a while. Okay, maybe I did think more of him than I'd like to admit but I wasn't one to get into my feelings about strangers. It wasn't until he noticed me that I saw the finer details you only notice upon making eye contact with somebody; the glint in his eye as he looked over at me quietly observing from across the room, the confident smirk that crept onto his face as I felt the heat seeping into my cheeks, the way he coolly made his way over to me and with a few words made me feel right at home at a party I was considering leaving only moments before.

''Hey, why're you over here all by yourself?'' His voice was low, monotone and full of a confident curiosity. I could hear the smile in his voice before I managed to nervously glance up and see it planted playfully on his lips. It was the first time he'd paid me any attention since he'd arrived but who could blame him really? The party, although not packed with people, had a whole host of beautiful girls to speak to- girls that could guarantee him a good time if he played his cards right. Maybe that's why it took me so long to form a response, the surprise of someone like him wanting to talk to someone like me had obviously created a blockade in my mind. His smile dissipated leaving his face with an expression of mild confusion mixed with impatience as I slowly processed our interaction.

''If you'd rather be left alone, you could just say, y'know?'' He exhaled quickly in a way that suggested something amusing had happened. I quickly snapped out of my anxiety driven daydream, eager to not let the moment slip away; I felt myself shaking with uncertainty, quite obviously flustered and embarrassed by my lack of social skills.

''Oh no, no, no.'' The repetition was unnecessary but my nerves were getting the best of me. ''It's just I'm not used to... well y'know... I just...'' I don't know why I couldn't just say what I wanted to say but I could tell from his raised eyebrow that I wasn't making any sense. I sighed audibly and let my head fall back against the wall wishing I could just reply without tying myself in knots. He considered me for a second before perching on the end of the sofa I had been lounging on for the past hour and a half; a half empty pack of cigarettes appeared from his hoodie pocket and with a gesture that echoed routine he flicked the lighter into motion, lit the end of the cigarette and inhaled deeply.

These parties happened once or twice a month and although I was never directly invited, nobody ever objected to my arrival or presence. I always attended alone and never went out of my way to socialise, I guess I'd grown fond of the couch's musky scent along with the strangely nostalgic view of the bustling city streets below. I'd almost got into the routine of turning up, grabbing a cup of whatever was popular that night and resigning to what I considered a place where I could just chill out and ultimately let my hair down. It had all been flipped on it's head once he had decided I was worth his time. I looked over at him as he carefully soaked in the lively city moving like clockwork more than 30 floors beneath us. A small sleepy smile reappeared on his face as he exhaled, letting the smoke freely cloud his vision. He must have thought the view was pretty and I had to agree, it was pretty. But the view I had of him at that moment- his black hair hanging loosely around his eyes, the cigarette delicately placed between his lips, the vivid street lights illuminating the beautiful contours of his face- that view was more than I could ask for.

A time passed, I wasn't sure how long exactly but the party was starting to empty so I could assume it had reached the early hours of the morning. He put his cigarette out and partially turned towards me consciously making an effort to establish eye contact with me. It made me nervous, just the way he unflinchingly challenged the walls I'd put around myself in an attempt to protect myself from getting hurt. I watched him as he shoved his phone, cigarettes and lighter back into his pockets, realising that he was readying himself to leave. What a wasted opportunity, I had managed to completely screw up a conversation with a guy that I quite obviously had a crush on and I felt stupid. My brow furrowed in frustration and I forced myself to focus on the late night traffic below, I couldn't let him see any more of my embarrassment. Amidst my self deprecating thoughts I hadn't noticed that my boy with his street lit beauty had upped and was waiting patiently by the apartment door. Was he waiting for me? Why would he be waiting for me? I stared at him, obviously confused. He laughed shortly, causing a shiver to race down my spine, his laugh was a beautiful sound.

''Come with me, I like you.'' He flashed me a grin and just like that he slipped out of the door.