Jimout: the gayest of all the gays has risen
Jimout: the meme god is here
Jimout: I demand 2 ice cream cones and one of those swirly lollipops from the mall
Yoongs: you're a god now?
Jimout: not just any god
Jimout: the meme god
Jimout: aka ur...
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LOOK AT MY BABY SHES SO FUCKING CUTE SHE WAS BORN LIKE TWO MINUTES AGO AND I AGED HER UP INSTANTLY AND OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE HER SO MUCH IM GONMA FUCKIN C R Y SHES SO ANGELIC DESPITE BEING A BLOOD SUCKING VAMPIRE ILL LOVE HER FOR THE REST OF HER IMMORTAL LIFE SHE LOVES THAT GIANT STUFFED BAT AND I WILL BUY HER 5 MILLION AS LONG AS SHES HAPPY FOREVER IM GONNA CRY
alright back to the story
--------- Severe trigger warning: self harm and thoughts of suicide
Jimin knees were pulled up to his chest, his shaking starting to become more violent.
Yoongi had said he would come see him, but Jimin guesses that the world will never allow him to be happy because Yoongi's car wouldn't even start. His boyfriend had apologized and promised to come see him as soon as possible, but all Jimin could think of in his fucked up anxiety filled head, was that Yoongi didn't want to see him.
Jimin kept thinking that he was too clingy. He saw Yoongi two weeks ago, and he hates this feeling of being away from him.
Jimin didn't want to be selfish, he didn't want to be whiny and clingy, but he was so close to losing his fucking mind and he needs Yoongi.
Nothing ever goes right for Jimin, and he hated himself for thinking that he could some how make it work with Yoongi.
He couldn't the idea of killing himself out of his head. It would be so fucking easy to just do it. Death is so simple, he could end his own life if he felt like it. He could load a gun and shoot a bullet through his skull, he could down all the pills he's been prescribed, he could cut open his wrists and bleed out, jump in front a train, jump off a building, so easy. Everyone dies anyways. There's nothing wrong with ending it now, right?
When he finally snapped out of his haze, he felt small pricks of pain and looked down only to see his arms covered in broken skin and beads of blood, a razor in his other hand.
He gasped loudly and threw the razor, quickly getting up to clean up his arms.
I can't believe I did that. Two fucking years, Jimin. Two fucking years clean and you fucked it up. You're so pathetic. You deserve it anyways. Shows you how wrong you are about thinking your life was actually going right for once.
The tears leaking from his eyes burned his cheeks, but the numbness on his arms reminded him of how he felt two years ago.
How he couldn't even look at a ceiling fan without wondering if it was sturdy enough so he could hang himself. Couldn't look at a knife without thinking of how much it'd hurt, couldn't even look at a building without thinking if it was high enough.
He stayed still for a moment, two choices in his head.
There was some more razors blades on the sink from where he assumed he took the last one from, and there was a bandage wrap in his hands.
He could wrap his arms up, attempt to get better. Or he could hurt himself, attempt to get better in the only way he's ever known how to.
He put down the wrap and grabbed the blades, feeling tears drop down his cheek as his teeth clenched.
He quickly wrapped them in toilet paper and dropped them in, flushing quickly so he couldn't change his mind.
He turned back the the bandage wrap and began wrapping his arms, his fingers shaking as he thought of what Yoongi would think when he saw his arms.
He knew he had to tell Yoongi soon, he wouldn't be able to live with himself knowing that he broke his promise about getting better, and didn't tell him.
