Diary Of Alice

Blah

  I am tired.  
"Tired of what?" You may ask. Everything. I'm done with school, with life, with friends, with family, and with art sometimes.
        "OH look it's Alice isn't she gay?" I heard. I HEARD SOMEONE SAY. It sucks because no i am not gay or lesbian or what ever and I do not want to fall into your trap of insults. But I did. I tripped and fell right into the whole of darkness I fell faster and faster forgetting true happiness, true friendship and hope. I lost what is was like to genuinely laugh to fell safe to feel some sort of sense of everything would be ok. I  lost it. For a while I thought I found it. I was wrong it was just a substitute, nervousness, so I found a person who made me nervous and thought he made me feel safe because I smiled. Just because you smile doesn't mean you're happy. I finaly got over him and I feel lonley and my mind is searching for the next thing it can find. Ever since my the 6th grade I've been lost. The only I know is where I wanna get. I wanna go to high school and graduate I wanna finally be able to acomplish something in my life.

Problem #2
I never knew how much I should hate him. I never knew how much I wanted to punch him in the face to feel the sensation of FINALLY feeling released. After years of being trapped in a jumble of feelings I broke free and I want to make him pay. Just a punch in the face would do. He is a jerk but my friend I love him as a cousin I hate but don't want to to be hurt by anyone. You know how like you never talk to your cousin but when you do its akward but you don't know what you'll do without him that's my feeling for him. That's what I hate about him I can't get close enough to be a good friend. 

I guess that's all for now