holding onto you

one

tears were streaming down norah's face as she passed her classmates in the hallways. at that moment, those hallways had appeared infinite to her. a journey to the bathroom had never seemed to take this long before.
she looked down at the ground, trying her best to hide her face, she didn't want anyone to see how broken inside she actually was. but even though her attempts to camouflage herself, she could still feel all those eyes staring at her.

her feet were moving fast, not planning to stop before norah had reached her final destination. she felt like she wasn't able to hold on any longer. only a few minutes and she would break down in front of everyone else, in front of the whole school. she didn't want to be remembered as that weird and pathetic girl who collapsed in front of all of her fellow students. somehow the opinions of others had always mattered quite a lot to norah.

she let out a relieved sigh when she finally reached the lavatory. it wasn't until then she noticed she was sweating. she wiped the damp liquid from her forehead while she sneaked into the first and best bathroom stall she saw. she closed the door behind her and immediately she dropped down onto the floor, her back sliding against the wall. the tears were streaming down her face and she started to cry even harder than she did before. her breathing was heavy and norah was gasping for breath.

all she really wanted was to make an end to this, an end to the pain that was becoming unbearable for her.

is today the day? norah asked herself.

she realised there was no such thing as a perfect day to end a life, to die. the thoughts of killing herself made her feel a little selfish. which is sad really, and maybe you could even say it's a bit ironic, because everyone kept hurting her all the time, it's all everyone ever did. like no one even cared about her feelings. yet, the only reason she hadn't killed herself was because she didn't want to hurt anyone.

she'd always thought of death as a scary thing. what do we really know about it? nothing, right? it scared the hell out of her to think about going to a place she didn't know anything about it. she didn't really like surprises.
would it be peaceful, or would it be a place even more alone and empty than this world of a prison she is already living in right now.
she didn't know, but she knew that she was willing to find out.
she believed that literally anything would be better than this miserable life and at this point, she didn't care about the things she had to sacrifice to free herself.

in an act of desperation norah took a marker out of her backpack and started writing on the stall door. her hands were shaking, but eventually she managed to write the words she had wanted to write for a long time now. she backed away from the door and satisfied she took in the words she had written.

'i can't do this anymore.
please,

save me.'

she didn't expect anyone to reply, hell, she couldn't ever have guessed how much these words would affect her life in the future.
but still she didn't take her life away that night. an act out of curiosity, maybe?

whatever it was that made her decide not do it, she was truly surprised when she came back to school the next morning.

because someone had actually answered her call of desperation.