Blood Red

Phase 5: The Expectation

"Sinking was never an option for me Mia," Ava told me with a sad smile upon being questioned about the love she harbored towards the woman she called 'mother'. 

"It was a necessity. I had swallowed too many of her bitter words to be able to surface ever again," she went on with the pained smile stuck in position. "The only question lay in the way I sank. And somehow somewhere, a part of me knew she was sinking too. So I latched on to her for comfort."

Hesitantly, I reached over to hold her hand and felt a sense of accomplishment overcome me as the warmth from her palm seeped into my body. I leaned into the bed post and heard a nearly inaudible sigh leave my lips. It was satisfying to learn that even as we sat there —limbs tangled in the sheets and pillows under our arms —Ava sought comfort in my touch. 

"You see, I forgot sometimes," she murmured in a detached tone as the first tear rolled down her cheek. "I forgot she was the one who hurt me. I forgot, Mia."

That's when I finally looked up to meet her eyes, and immediately wished I hadn't. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears and the broken look of the blue-eyed girl hurt me more than I thought I was capable of hurting.

Under the fluorescent lights, Ava's eyes looked almost ethereal, compelling me to spill my secrets. I stared at them fascinated and wondered if everything I had done felt purely platonic to her. 

Before I could dwell on the topic any further, Ava's phone started ringing. As the red and blue notes enveloped me in their song I felt my shoulders shed a part of their tension and my lips lost their tautness. I caught an unrecognizable emotion pass through Ava's eyes for a fleeting second but it was gone before I could put my finger on it. I wondered if I had imagined it all.

"It's alright. She's with me," she sighed exasperatedly and let her head fall backward, into the comfort of the cushion. A moment later I heard the unmistakable 'click' of a disconnected call and felt someone's eyes on my face.

Subtly rolling my eyes at the ridiculousness of the whole situation, I looked upwards to meet Ava's blue eyes for the second time that day, only to be met with a gleam in her eyes that made me freeze in surprise.

"So Mia," I felt her eyes watching me like a hawk and noticed that she rolled her next words on her tongue with a sadistic pleasure, as though she were tasting my pain, before finally spitting them out.

"... does the word 'synesthetic' mean anything to you?"