sometimes
if i close my eyes long enough,
and try desperately
to picture you here with me,
it almost seems real.
almost.
but those things will never become a reality.
it's been since 2015,
and i wouldn't choose anyone but you.
even now,
i still get too caught up in you.
you always cross my mind.
im always wondering what you're doing.
i would give anything,
just to go back to that time, darling.
you were my everything.
now i'm just uncertain of what you are anymore.
but this is all just part of the loving, the aching,
the breaking and the healing.
and as much as i hate to be in that cycle,
i am forever caught in it.
