I'll Keep You in my Memories

I was going to write that you were my oldest friend but I didn't because I'd hate the think that we're not friends anymore.

I met you when we were four and you had this huge Afro....Do you remember? It makes me smile when I think about it. You were also my very first friend when we moved here. And since I don't remember friends from before that, I'd like to call you my first best friend. Haha.

Well, fast forward a couple of years and countless sleep overs and we come to one of your birthday parties. It was at your house way before you tried to teach me to skate. Lol. I remember the party hats were wore were blue and yellow and red and I remember the kazoos and I remember that that was the first time I (not really) met your dad. I even remember the gift he gave you. It was The Cat in the Hat DVD. Not the cartoon version though but the one with Dakota Fanning. And I remember when everyone left and we went to your room or maybe it was the living room? And we watched it together because I hadn't seen it. I wonder if you still have it?

I also remember when your mom took us to Arby's or Hardiees or something like that and it was the first time I've ever gone and we had chicken tenders and then we had to hurry up because it was starting to rain and we had walked there so I stuffed the last chicken tender in my mouth and we all held hands and and kind of did this half walk/jog back your house. This wasn't the the same house you tried to teach me to skate at though and I'm pretty sure it might have been an apartment. Anyway, we got back there and then we had a bath but I can't seem to remember if it was together or separately. All I remember is giggling and a big fluffy towel. After that though your mom made chocolate cookies while we played with some trucks your dad had given you. I remember that it was in this huge box and there were so many trucks. And I remember your blue Pokémon bed sheets and the bunk bed that I'm pretty sure you only had because I spent so much time at your house.

Remember that time I spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at your house and we had chocolate chip cookies. This wasn't the Arby's house/apartment or the house that I scraped my knee at because I suck at skateboarding. This was the house that we took the cushions from the chairs and we pretended that we were part of a burger and I kept squishing you. I even remember the layers: bun (cushion), you (I think you were the burger?), lettuce (cushion), pickles (two pillows), me (lettuce), bun (cushion). It was fun.

I also used to think that Bubba's name was Bubbles and I remember him being this huge golden retriever and barking a lot. Turns out his isn't a golden retriever and he definitely isn't huge. Ah, the perspective of a child. I remember him being SO BIG though. I even kinda remember he way his breath smelt.

Back to the house where you tried to teach me to skate and we weren't wearing any padding and then I slipped and scrapped my knee and we never tried again and I can't remember why. Maybe it was because your mom or my mom got mad? Maybe it was because we just didn't. Maybe it was because you didn't want to. Maybe it was because I cried and said I didn't want to try anymore but that can't be right because I did want to try again. I can't look at a skateboard without thinking about you though.

Fast forward a few more years when we were both in 7th grade and we hadn't seen or talked to each other for years and I was excited to see you because do I have to have a reason to be excited to see one of my best friends? Yea well, this time we didn't have fun did we. Whenever I think back to this I think that maybe this was when I friendship fell apart, you know? I barely remember anything but you calling me fat and me biting your thumb. It is what it is I guess. I remember being so fucking mad at you because what happened to the boy with the Pokémon sheets that I used to play cars with and have a ton of fun with? Yea, well he's a judgmental prick now, isn't he?

Fast forward a year or so at your mom's wedding. My mom was a bridesmaid. It was the last time I could wear one of my favorite dresses because my breasts had gotten bigger and they could barely fit in my dress. I remember being a little nervous because I no longer knew where we stood or whether or not we were still friends but then you hugged me so I guess you've gotten over whatever the fuck you got over or whatever. It was a beautiful wedding by the way. Your mom looked lovely in her wedding dress but it was really hot okay and there were not nearly enough seats at the reception. And I remember that because some people took our seats when we got up to get drinks and there were literally no other seats left. And please please please tell my that it was just my imagination and I didn't catch you staring at my breasts because no. I wish it was just my imagination. I so wish it was my imagination. Also, thanks so fucking much for making me feel self conscious.

The last time I saw you was a couple of years ago. It was at your new house probably a year or so after your mom got married. And you have another dog. When did that happen? And don't get me started on your sisters. When we were younger there was only Ava and now I don't even-like how many sisters do you have? And I can't remember the names of your other sisters. Anyway when we came over I think your mom said that you were grounded? I don't remember why.

Somewhere around the time we got a wii you and your mom and your sisters visited us and I couldn't tell which one was Ava which is kind of okay because she doesn't even remember me. We still have your mom's Mii on our Wii. You didn't play and your sisters were very very shy. I love teasing you about your Afro though.

Whenever my mom brings up prom, I always say I don't want to go because I don't. I want to skip prom with my friends and go bowling or something. But she always says that I'm going whether I like it or not and then she says that I should go with you to your prom. I really don't want to go to prom okay so please find a date or get a girlfriend because she's really pushing this me&you&prom thing.

Somewhere in my memories I remember your mom dropping you off or something and I had just downloaded a yo mama app and I was reading you the jokes and and then my dad told me to stop so I think we watched tv but you were on your phone and you looked like you didn't care. And then my brother tried to wrestle with you or something and you said, "Get off! You're on my shaft." And I remember asking you what that meant. You never explained, but no worries. I know what that and a lot of other things mean now.

Anyway you move a lot and I'm not even sure I know who you are anymore, but you'll always be in my heart.