Accumulation of Short Stories

Cameo

Once upon a time there was a goose named Freddie.

But this goose was no ordinary goose. This goose was actually a man that was turned into a goose by an evil witch.

Freddie did not like being a goose at all. "How am I going to get all the women as this ugly goose?" He would always quack to himself. He was right, Freddie was a ugly goose.

But what Freddie didn't know, was that he was actually quite an attractive goose, well Thomas thought so anyway. (Thomas was a Prince who was quite fond of Geese.)

Thomas would always go to the duck pond everyday in hopes to find the perfect goose. He would feed them all and try to hold them but they all would bite him. That was until he met Freddie.

Thomas grew quite fond of Freddie, but since Thomas didn't know that Freddie's name was Freddie, he called him Flanders.

Freddie did not like being called Flanders and would always freak out when he was called this. Thomas didn't quite understand why but would always calm Freddie down by feeding him some chicken. (This was Freddie's favorite food)

Thomas didn't really know how he came to understand that Flanders loved chicken so much, but one day it just came to him. Like words spoken in his head. These words also told him that Flanders' name was actually Freddie. Thomas knew these words might actually be the trickery of a witch or other ghastly magical creature, trying to separate Flanders- or rather Freddie- and Thomas, but the words were so softly spoken and kind that he couldn't doubt them. And besides, the words almost always seemed to show up after Thomas fed Freddie chicken.

One day when Thomas fed Freddie chicken he had a feeling he should take him home. Freddie was down with it so even though it was against the law Thomas stole Freddie from the duck pond. Freddie thought Thomas' house was awesome and that he wanted to live there with him. First thing first though before they could live together is Freddie needed some chicken.

Thomas was quick to buy a lot of chicken. He also learned that Freddie liked to sleep in his bed at night. Frankly, Thomas could't blame him. He owned one amazing bed.

Freddie would snuggle up to Thomas every night they slept in the same bed together. "It's only gay if you make it, plus I'm a goose," Freddie thought. So he would just sleep with Thomas.

Thomas liked it when Freddie would snuggle up against him. But he couldn't help but feel like there was something missing. Like there was something that Thomas was overlooking every time he looked longingly into Freddie's eyes. One day he realized what he was missing. Freddie's irises weren't the proper color for a goose. They were a bright color of blue.

"You're eyes Freddie!!" Thomas yelled.

"Quack," was Freddie's reply.

"I must find out why you're eyes are like a man's. Where is the chicken?" Thomas started to look for the meat.

"Quack." Freddie waddled into the kitchen.

"You're just so cute, so cute!"

"Quack."

Thomas had successfully located the chicken by now and had placed Freddie on his usual barstool.

"Quack, quack, quack!!!" The quacks were all very excited-sounding.

"COOL YA QUACKIN', Freddie!"

As Freddie ate the chicken Thomas realized something. "Freddie! You're a man!"

"Quack."

"We must save you NOW." Thomas ran to the phone and looked through his contacts. "Darn, I don't have no witches in here." Thomas looked at Freddie. "Any ideas?"

"Quack."

"You're a genius! That's what we'll do!"

Because Freddie had just ingested chicken, his mind connection with Thomas was as strong as ever. Freddie had simply instructed Thomas to pick him up, buckle him into his kiddie seat (because Thomas took such good care of Freddie that he didn't want to risk him getting injured in a car accident), and take Freddie to the Witch's lair, a popular lesbian bar that was located in downtown Cheyenne, Wyoming.

The problem is that the people in Wyoming hated gays. Good thing for Thomas was that no one- but Freddie- knew he was gay and Freddie was a goose so he was safe. On the trip to The Lair Thomas cranked up them tunes and started to sing to them. Freddie just did his best to quack along.

"Out the back door-"

"QUACK QUACK-"

"But I love her anyway!"

"Miss Jackson!"

"Quack quack quack!"

"Miss Jackson!"

"Quack quack quack quack?"

The car came to a full stop. They had arrived.

"What's the witch's name?" Asked Thomas.

"Quack."

"Got it." Thomas walks into the bar with Freddie trailing behind him. "Yo, Sarah Smiles where are you?!"

"Quack."

"I have to say the password? Fine. Sarah Smiles like Sarah doesn't care." It was when Thomas had finished saying this that the witch appeared out of no where. She did not look like a normal witch. She was smexy.

Thomas could appreciate her looks, but he hated her. She had turned his friend into a goose, and even though that is how they met in the first place, Thomas was still very cross with her.

"Hey lady." Thomas called,

Sarah Smiles did not even notice Thomas' existence. Her purple eyes going immediately to Freddie.

"You," she said, "are not suppose to be here."

"Quack."

"I am not turning you back."

"Quack!"

"I don't care if you have changed! You still laughed when my ice cream fell to the ground."

"Quack."

"You have found love?"

"Quack quack."

"It's this man too?" She points to Thomas.

"Quack."

"Well, you two can either live like you are now or I can turn him into a goose so you can live a goosey life together." Sarah Smiles smiles. "What shall it be?"

Suddenly a shot rang out as a pair of burly looking men, one very tall in a flannel shirt, the other slightly shorter in a leather jacket, walked inside the bar.

The taller one with chin-length hair made a face at the shorter one. "De-"

"Shut up, dude. We gotta grab this witch and go." The shorter one had a gun in his right hand. It was the gun that had shot Sarah Smiles.

Thomas gasped as the bar suddenly flashed with light. In the place of Freddie was a man. A very naked man.

The shorter man swore. "Ah, well, we will be just leaving." And the two men exited.

Thomas stepped carefully over the corpse of Sarah Smiles and ran to who he knew was Freddie.

"Freddie!"

"Thomas?" Freddie looked up at Thomas and smiled. All of the women around them averted their eyes.

"Oh Freddie! You're naked!"

"Whatever," Freddie said before tugging Thomas down and kissing him.

THE END

~*~

Haha, that made sense right? If it didn't oh well, just hope you got a good laugh out of it. This is just a small way to pass time and show you guys how random we are.

So have fun Humaniod Pals. PEACE. 

Also!! Loving you dearly (and a little queerly!) 

-Odds & Evens