Accumulation of Short Stories

Highlighters

Once upon a time there was a completely heterosexual man named Jack Anderson.

Jack Anderson loved chicks. He was a chick magnet because he was a total babe. Looking like he has come right out of a magazine, everyone loved Jack.

Well, he kinda looked like he stepped straight out of a magazine, because he did. And to be bluntly specific, it was a gay magazine. (So his sense of style was faaabuloussss)

From sheer will power he ripped himself right out of it. Being the only straight man in a gay magazine can drive one insane. Jack was so relieved that he could now be the straight attractive guy he always dreamed he could be without having all the happy flamboyant gays weighing him down. That was until he ran into a totes flamboyant gay guy who just loved Jack's face.

"OhmiGod, Jack I love your face, it's so beautiful." Cameron, the flamingly gay man who had just made Jack's acquaintance, touched his face with gentle fingers. Cameron was at least six inches shorter than Jack's perfect 6'2.

"No, you don't have the rights to touch all dis." Jack motioned to his face then the rest of his body. Cameron looked disappointed. He really wanted to touch all that. Cameron wasn't a ugly man. He was short with freckles scattered across is face. His shaggy brown hair fell right above his huge black eyes. Cameron was wearing, of course, his gay outfit. Highlighter colored skinny jeans with a just-as-bright shirt.

"But I'm in love with you," Cameron looked up at Jack with puppy-dog eyes.

"Well that escalated quickly," Jack said, tugging on the bottom of his flannel shirt. He tucked his hands into the back pockets of his boyfriend-style jeans.

"I know it did, but you remind me of this man I loved long ago. That was before he disappeared."

"Disappeared?" Jack asks.

"Yep, right out of the gay magazine." Cameron looked very sad now. "It was my dream to marry him because I just know he was made just for me."

"I... Don't think he was." Jack looked away.

"He was though!"

"Was not!"

"I love you!"

"I love you too-wait no I don't..."

"But you just said so yourself!" Cameron shouted.

"I did, but you were making me all flustered and confused and-"

That's when Cameron attack hugged Jack and they both fell to the asphalt.

"Owch," Jack moaned.

"I'm not sorry," Cameron giggled.

"You should be because that was really mean and I didn't like it one bit."

"That's something I thought my true love would say." Cameron sat onto Jack to make sure he wasn't going to move.

"I think you need some mental help dude," Jack says.

"I think you just need love!" Cameron shouts. "Just give in!"

"You don't even know my name!"

"Yes I do, it's Jack."

"How do you know that?" Jack was curious.  

"Because that's your name in the magazine."

"Wo-ho-ho-ho, creep alert." Jack picked Cameron up off of him easily and stood. He sat Cameron back down on the ground.

"I'm not a creep, I'm in love."

"And I'm straight, so yeah." Jack turned away from Cameron, slicking back his mussed up hair. "Have a nice life."

"I bet I could fix that!"

"I'm as straight as a needle."

"Needles can always be bent." Cameron ran in front of Jack and threw his arms around him. Without warning Cameron slammed his lips onto Jack's. Jack had no flippin' idea what to do so he just stood there. When Cameron pulled away Jack sighed.

"Still straight."

"Dang." Cameron muttered, turning away, dejected. "You had so much promise."

And then as if Cameron hadn't even been there in the first place, he was gone. Jack blinked. "What the f-" suddenly a small bird the color of a yellow highlighter smacked into Jack's face. He knew it was Cameron.

"Maybe, I'm the one who needs some mental help."

"I am your bird!" The bird who is Cameron yells. "I was sent here to make sure that you were safe outside of the magazine but fell in love with you a long the way. As your punishment for being a loser and not loving me back I will turn you into a bird as well!"

"Wait... Wait... Sto-" There, where Jack once stood, was a little flannel colored bird.

"Come with me, Jack the bird and we can see the world together."

"Mmm 'kay." With that the gay bird and the straight bird flew off together seeing the world. They never did fall in love... Well Jack never fell in love. Cameron always did. Poor gay bird.

THE END

~*~

So that happened. *Shrugs* what can you say? Cameron was in love, but Jack was straight. I think they ended up best friends or something. At least that's what I like to think. :)

Peace out, humanoid pals, and we're loving you dearly (and a little queerly)!

-Evens & Odds