Her Human

Four

They laugh and clink glasses. This is the second night in a row she's been here. I hear bits of their conversation, but the soundproof glass of the windows keeps me from hearing clearly what they're talking about. Even with my sensitive hearing.

He's looking at her with a gleam in his eyes. Something else too, it's wistful. Like he's trying very hard to convince himself this is right.

He knows, I know, hell even she might know. It's not. But, as usual, he'll try to make it work.

Due to my frequent absences, I can't tell how long they've been together. But it seems like the longest relationship he's had with anyone yet. This irks me to no end, but I'm set on convincing myself that watching him be happy is enough for me. That I'll be satisfied if he's satisfied.

But that's not true. Far from it.

They move from the dining room to another room in the house and a few minutes later I hear the sound of the T.V. They must be watching a movie together.

Deciding I've seen and heard enough, I pack it in and leap off the tree I was up in. Heading back to the spot where my tent is, I notice something's a teensy bit off. Like for starters, my tent is in shreds and my stuff, ripped and ravaged through, as though someone was either desperately looking for something or purposely destroying everything. It was a wreck and I come to a sharp halt, sniffing at the air.

Rogue.

A couple of them at least, they must've been passing through, searching for some easy food. The fact that they'd gotten so close to my mate tipped me over the edge and I had to grip a tree branch to keep from shifting right then and there. Why can't I ever do anything right? I can never protect my mate like I'm supposed to! These filthy rogues were this close to him and I didn't even notice.

Some bug crawls on my hand and I come back to myself while tumbling out of the tree with the elegant grace of an elephant throwing a temper tantrum.

I really hate bugs.

Salvaging what's left of my very few human clothes, I cast a glance to my wrecked tent but pay no mind, it's not like I needed to sleep in it or anything utterly ridiculous like that.

I grit my teeth and grudgingly decide to go into town the next day for a shopping trip.

How fun.

*

A day later, I'm hovering outside of a small, worn boutique. I'd been to the pint-sized town only a handful of times, to gather some knives and other kitchen utensils, as well as gardening tools for crops planted by the farmers of the pack and clothes, of course. Quiet place, not much seems to happen around here.

The little bell rings and an old woman, heading the counter at the back looks up to greet me. Her eyes are wide as dinner plates as she takes in my ragged appearance. I realize then, I probably hadn't bathed in a few weeks and that I'd smell putrid to even the humans poor sense of smell. She looks at me with pity and a bit of something resembling buried disgust, which's  an interesting combination to me. I try to brush it off, but the lady wouldn't quit staring as I browsed the clothes. Finally, she spoke up, "Dear! You're so dirty! What happened to ya, are ya okay?"

Sometimes I forget how blunt some people can be. In the pack, it seemed as though everyone had a way of verbally dancing around things, important or not. So I can appreciate a bit of straightforwardness at times. I give her a half smile and a shrug as I continue to browse. She's about to say something, when the bell rings again and someone enters. "Hi, Mrs. Magdalen!" The woman greets her back, just as cheerfully, and briefly forgets my existence. They chat for a while, something about the girl's love life, I wasn't totally listening, nor interested. After feeling extremely awkward and wanting to be in and out of the store as quickly as possible, I grab a couple pairs of jeans and plain t-shirts, slamming what's left of the money I salvaged from my belongings on the counter. But, as my awful luck would have it, she suddenly remembers I'm still there.

The woman, Mrs. Magdalen, shoots me a downright pitiful look and then a pleading look at the other visitor. I spare a fleeting glance at the girl, only for my jaw to fall to the floor. It was the blonde female from my mate's house. She takes in my appearance while caution, surprise, and worry with a tiny dash of fear mix together in her expression.

And it was then, that it finally occurred to me, how profoundly sketchy I must look to them. The dirt smeared across my face, the trace amounts of dried up blood caked in with a concoction of leaves, mud and probably even some dead bugs. Shudder. My long, wild and untamed mess of hair was tangled and even matted in some places. My pale green eyes, feral and primitive. The poor excuse for clothes I wore, which was really just a large, very stained t-shirt that at one point, probably had color to it, but now sports a ratty gray-brown hue. I probably looked just about ready to cook them for dinner and gobble them up.

The blonde peeled her eyes away from me to give the woman something close to a 'is she genuinely crazy?' look.

The woman gazed harshly back at her, giving her a look of her own. If I hadn't know any better I'd think they were telepathically communicating, something us weres do on the regular. The thought nearly caused me to laugh out loud. I stopped myself from doing so though, as that would most likely add fuel to the fire and make me look like an even crazier lunatic than I already do.

I don't wait for them to finish their little mental battle, I'm already on my way to the door when I hear the older woman speak. "Wait! Do you need any help?" I shake my head, not bothering to turn around when a hand grips my arm. I halt.

It's the blonde, she gives me an almost pleading look. "Just come with us, we can help you out."

I don't know what makes me say yes, but an hour later, I find myself walking with the pair of ladies to their home.

We stop in front of a big, white, country colonial. There's a large wrap around porch, navy blue window shutters and a gorgeous garden of a variety of flowers surrounding the home. It was gorgeous, unlike anything I'd ever seen.

They lead me inside and I admire the vast interior. I wonder then, if they're the only pair who live in the enormous estate, or if they have more family. I guessed the old woman was in some way related to the blonde, they were very friendly with each other, but she didn't address her with any familial title so I couldn't be sure.

"Quiet thing aren't ya?" The older woman comments. It was good natured and I simply nod in response. Her eyes crinkle at the corners and she lets out a loud laugh, a booming noise I didn't expect from the petite lady.

I let the blonde lead me to the bathroom, she gives me a towel and lets me clean up a bit. It's futile, though. There's no reason for me to clean myself up, as I'll be just as dirty in a matter of weeks. I can tell though, they're just trying to be nice.

Something I don't think I'll ever understand about the humans in small country towns, is how everyone knows everyone. My pack used to settle near numerous minute towns like these, and after a certain period of time living there, I'd notice how close knit and unique each community was. Like they were all related to each other, not necessarily by blood, but like an invisible force wove through each person, intertwining them with the next. They were connected, they were family.

Even the humans had an almost pack-like connection. That thought's ridiculous to me. They're not even supernatural beings, bound together by half their souls. They aren't predestined in any way, to love and connect with each other. They're not born that way, because they don't have to be. They make their own choices on who to love and it's just as effective. They form their own tight-knit communities, without the wolf part tying them down.

Sometimes I wonder what it'd be like to be just human, then I remember the feeling of shifting. That freeing, aching feeling. Running, jumping, sprinting in my wolf form. It's exhilarating, it's liberating. Yet, when I run in my human form, it's just not the same.

I wonder if, in some different way, it's possible for humans to experience that kind of freedom.