Mystery Entries (Strange Poems)

Mystery's Entry Part 1

I don't think you could understand this ever.
Even if I told you straight to your face what this was about.
It kills me every single time too.
That voice.. that girl in the back of my head.
The one I think is real.
She's telling me to get over.
Or deal with it.
But how can I, when I feel so awful.

I was always afraid of this.
You knew my fear.
You kept my fear away too.
I don't think it's fair, to say 'fear' anymore.

Now to you it's some 'wake up call.'
While to me, it's note left to a faceless figure about to jump off the bridge.

I'd never tell you this because you'd never understand.
I'd never wanted anyone to see this either.
Especially you.

I never wanted you to be my friend.
From the start I really.
Really.
Really fucking hated you.

But then somehow, we were two minds on the same trail.
"No death, we seek destruction."
That's what I thought always anyway.
I knew something so small and stupid would mess the entire paradise up.

Just because of my paranoid mind.
My mind is fucked up and so is yours.
And you can't say other wise.

I think that's one reason why we got along...

It doesn't matter.

Ever since the day I met you, I wanted you to leave me alone.
Because I was afraid.
I was afraid you'd walk out just like the others.

And if you didn't...

Just because of that stupid voice.
Saying "don't do anything! They're gonna leave anyway!"
I never wanted to listen to her.
I just believed her...
It was too late.

Kicked me when I was down, and you didn't even know it.
I didn't want to give you the joy of seeing me hurt by this.

I'm not hurt by this.

I'm just hurt how be both broke such simple promises.