Zayn.
Josh's black BMW pulled into the parking lot and I stood there sobbing... How can Niall be my boss?
"Oh my god, Zayn" Josh hurriedly got out of his car
He hugged me tight, letting me cry as long as I needed
"What's happened?" He asked "tell me what's wrong Malik, please"
"When we get home" I whispered
He nodded, putting his arm round my body as he helped me into the car... He's such a gentleman
Josh then got into the driver seat, starting up his car and turning down Look After You by the Fray
The ride home was short, but neither of us said a word as my tears began to dry
-
-
-
"Your boss is your ex boyfriend?!" Josh asked, a gigantic grin on his face
"Stop smiling" I whimpered "stop"
"Zayn, why were you crying?" Josh asked "this is amazing!"
"It's not"
"It is"
"It's not!" I raised my voice
Josh's smile faltered and I sighed, sitting back in the bed
"It's not" I whispered
"Why?"
"He has a boyfriend" I said "one that came between the both of us in school. I don't want to put his relationship on the line"
"You should"
"Well I don't" I glowered at him "I don't want an affair, alright?"
"Nobody said anything about an affair" Josh tried
"I'm not letting him be unfaithful to his partner" I said
"Zayn, you love him" Josh said "and if he tried to kiss you, he's obviously got feelings still as well"
"That's not the point" I said
"Then what is?"
"He's off the market"
"What the hell is he to you?" Josh asked "a boxed product or the love of your life?"
"The love of my life" I said exasperated "you know that"
"Then you need to get him"
"I can't"
"Yes, you can"
"How?"
"Be you"
"I'm clumsy, dim witted and am an absolute bore"
"No, you're a clutz, you're adorable I a childish way, you're hot, you're fun, you're gutsy and you're my best friend" Josh disagreed "like a brother"
"I'm a clutz" I agreed "and it will wreck everything"
"You're such a pessimist"
"I have my reasons!"
"No you don't"
"You weren't the one that had to suffer six years of a brutal and torturous heart break" I whispered angrily, tears starting to fall from my eyes all over again "you weren't the one who got lost without someone and you're not the person standing here now, that is aching for this to be a nightmare"
"Zayn, you love him"
"So what?"
"That's a valid reason-"
"I have no valid reasons to reach out for him!" I shouted
"I know what this feels like"
"No you don't" I let my anger seethe and take over "hoe the fuck, could you possibly know what it's like to lose a boyfriend? In fact, lose someone you wanted to spend the rest of your life with?"
"He's back now"
"After sick shitty years!" I burst into tears, just crying into my hands... Both my hands
"They weren't shitty" Josh said quietly
"I'm a wreck, I live with my friend, I can't keep a job, I don't have a car" I listed "I am a loser and the person I'm in love with is a billionaire and has a billionaire boyfriend"
"He's a billionaire?" Josh asked, cringing a little
"Yes" I nodded "he's rich and I have no money, whatsoever"
"What about the two and a half thousand pounds he-"
"I payed off some of my mortgage"
Josh sat on the bed beside me, holding onto me while I had a good and long cry
"You're right" he whispered "this is too difficult for the both of us to work through"
"I just wish this had never happened" I cried "I wish I'd never dumped him, even if it was over an anniversary"
Josh rubbed my back, not saying anymore
"He's out of my league" I whispered hurt, my voice breaking "and by a long shot"
"I think you need ice cream" Josh said calmly "okay?"
I nodded and he took me upstairs to his room
"Because you're upset, you can stay in my room"
I nodded, climbing onto his bed with the large tub of Vanilla. It was my guilty pleasure
Josh sat against me, his arm round me as I literally sat there and emptied the tub like a fatass. I shared with him a little but after eating it all, it all came back up
Josh rubbed my back as I hurled into his toilet, my breath hitching and myself gagging as well as coughing out the vomit
"I can't stand this" Josh suddenly removed his hand
He left me to throw up, a vile and acidic taste on my tongue every couple of seconds I hurled again.
My knuckles were white, my fingers curled round the toilet as I leant over the bowl, my breaths shaky as my tears started all over again.
Why was I turning back into a school boy?
I threw up again, brutal coughing releasing it as I choked
This wasn't even the alcohol, this was the three liter tub of ice cream on top of my beers
