Maybe I Loved You Too (Girlxgirl)

Chapter 8

*Carmen’s POV *

Carmen paced back and forth in her dressing room, thinking about how audacious and arrogant Lee could sometimes be.

The hardest part of her career as a model had always been studio shoots. Whenever she was aware that she was posing, her pictures were never quite as good as when caught unaware. She was perfect on the runway, perfect when addressing the public, perfect in everything else except in studio shoots.

Lee was the only photographer who could make the best of her emerge in photo shoots. There was something about being too self-conscious that made her greatly uncomfortable. That little thing had been a big flaw in the beginning of her career but because of her beauty and intense sexual appeal, it had slowly turned into a great asset.

Photographers who could perfectly capture her image were highly paid. Many photographers wanted to work with her, and she wished most of them could, but no one was as good as Lee. Their personal relationship, however, had tainted their professional relationship. 

“Carmen?”

She heard a female voice call out her name from the door and effortlessly summoned her in.

“Hi Carmen, I’m Joey Scott, Lee’s assistant, we’ve met several times before,” Joey said.

“Did Lee send you here?”

“No, I came on my own free will. I just wanted to tell you that it took a lot of effort for Lee to come to you and offer to do your shoot.”

Carmen looked at her in awe and disbelief. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Joey probably worshipped the ground Lee walked on, what did she know?

“She was asking from a professional’s perspective. If Jean Pierre was doing his job right, she wouldn’t have intervened. But she knows you and she knows you won’t be comfortable with him. This is not about your past or the money. If it was about your past, she could have stayed away the whole time she knew you were coming but she didn’t and if it was about the money, she would be demanding for a raise from Desire because she’s so good at taking your pictures, but she’s not,” Joey said.

“How has she been?” Carmen asked. She knew Joey was being honest because Lee could be a lot of things, just not as bad a person as sometimes Carmen wished she was. That would have made it easier for Carmen to hate Lee. But nothing about Lee was easy.

“Honestly?” Joey asked.

“Yes, honestly,” Carmen said.

Joey appeared hesitant, almost as though the information she was about to give shouldn’t leave that room. “Not so good. I mean, she tries to act like she’s okay but you can see that she’s not.”

Carmen wasn’t quite sure she understood.

“You know she’s not good with feelings.”

Carmen nodded at that, remembering her emotional encounters with Lee.

“She’s too afraid to acknowledge what she feels sometimes, which makes it hard for her to deal with things or people rationally. She’s more used to pushing people away instead of letting them in despite how much she wants them in her life or how much she likes them,” Joey explained. “I don’t know if I should be telling you this but since you left, she’s changed. She’s not the same person she used to be.”

“What do you mean?” Carmen asked.

“I don’t think she’s slept with anyone else since you left.” Joey stated.

“You must not know Lee as well as you think you do,” Carmen said in laughter.

“I know her well enough.”