His Mask Of Duplicity

⚜ 7 ⚜

So sorry for the long wait!! New chapter coming soon for Opposites Attract!

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Just from being observed, someone may have noticed my sour mood. I've been feeling pretty lonely—I guess that's what happens when I drive people away.

No one wants to be a friend with a sore loser like me. Oh, wait! It can't be anyone like me because it is me! (DUH!!) .

Have you ever had those days where you just want to break something? Slam a glass vase into a wall and watch it shatter, but wait. You realize something. It's like an epiphany and suddenly the glass vase is something so familiar. Ah, I know, the shattered glass vase is symbolic of my dignity being completely wiped out from underneath me.

Heather hung up on me. That's when I let it all sink in.

I will admit, I'm a person who expects a lot from other people. I remember when it was not long after I'd become friends with Heather that I finally understood what the definition of 'true friendship' meant. Obviously, since Heather and I were in sixth grade, we didn't fully grasp the concept of 'as friends, we all have an equal part we must perform'. 

Nope. 

My immature and underdeveloped sixth grade mind was completely and utterly clueless.

C. L. U. E. L. E. S. S.

It had been precisely a month after Heather had approached me when I broke my arm. I'd invited her over to hang out and she gratefully accepted my invitation—just FYI, sixth grade was the turning point for me, in which I transitioned from 'play dates' to 'hang out'. Sixth grade was also the time where we hadn't quite gotten out of the 'I'm in charge' phase. 

So, while Heather was over we'd decided to try on my mother's clothes, which I absolutely adored, and still do to this day. While we dug through Mom's clothes, I'd taken a break to write down everything I expected Heather to wear. Each line started out with: 'I expect Heather to ...'

Heather got upset took the situation to my mom. Things eventually were sorted out, but they weren't as fun. When Heather left, my mother gave me one of those parent-scolding-their-child looks.

My mother told me, "Chloe, sweetheart. You need to expect more from yourself than others because expectation from others will just hurt you."

My mother's words have stuck with me for a long time. That's why it's so great to have a mother. They make sacrifices everyday for us. They're willing to put themselves in harm's way just to protect their own. As I am very, very grateful for that, I am also grateful that my mother especially speaks words to me that become imprinted in my head forever, like a hot metal rod branding her words into me. 

She speaks in a way that I feel no other mother does. I'm special. I'm the lucky one. I not only get a mother who sacrifices every thing for me, but along with it, I get a mother whose words are so memorable; everything she says sounds like it's just come from Pinterest.

You need to expect more from yourself than others because expectation from others will just hurt you.

Wow. I really do expect too much from others. It's like I'm requiring the people around me to be a certain way. I don't mean 'change everything about them to suit my needs'. I mean that I will assume what people will behave like and then I'll expect that from them. Like I've always told myself: Don't assume. If you assume, you're just getting your hopes up. Sometimes it someone or something will surprise you.