I don't know what is going on, all I feel is broken inside. I feel hopeless and I feel worthless. I can't trust anyone, not anymore. it's like hell in my head, and I feel so alone. I can't shake off the fear of letting somebody in again, to be torn apart as I let every piece of me go again. I can't feel nothing but this pain I've had for a while now. Every time I pick myself back up, something always blows me back, crashing down to where I started. And I feel like it's just a waste. It won't ever be good enough. I feel like I am unfixable. I honestly feel like I won't ever feel normal again. and I honestly don't know what normal is anymore without the drugs. and I honestly don't think uI can feel normal without taking the drug I take everyday. I don't feel high from it anymore; I just use it now just to feel normal for the day. it's so fucked up that I have to do this just to feel okay, just to get through the day without falling apart. I wish I was that girl again who didnt give a fuck about anyone's feelings, I miss being the heartless, emotionless bitch I used to be before I got all these fucking emotions destroy me inside. fuck feelings
