What you and I could've been

Victor

9th grade

"Awe, look how she cries!" Abby Jansen laughed behind me as I wiped away tears and began running for the exit.
"Have a nice day loser!" Gena shouted.
I had lost all feelings one day to Gena and her squadron of bullies. They made me feel insecure and small as if nothing inside me connected. All of the puzzle pieces I held inside me had broken apart, and for a sensitive girl who had no happiness, I let Gena get inside me and rip me apart. I had no other choice but to run. Run away from my sadness.
I was already outside and I slumped myself against the tree in the courtyard. I wanted to be alone, forgotten, dead. I felt destroyed. I felt as if nothing around me was in sync. I cried and cried and cried until my chest began hurting. There was no sign of me cheering up any time soon.
"Have a nice day Freddie Crooger!" Abby shouted from a distance.
     My heart was shattered. I had no feelings inside me.
"You dumb girls! You guys don't have anything better to do like sticking your tongues down boys throats?!" Victor began approaching them.
"Well at least we've done it Sherlock!" Gena yelled at him.
"Why would I ever want to stick my tongue down some spoiled rotten popular crap girls like you?" He insulted them.
    They all gasped in sync. Gena began to storm towards Victor as he stood in proudness but Abby pulled her back. A fight between a girl and a boy was of no cost.
"Watch yourself gay boy!" Gena shouted as she stormed off in the other direction with Abby tailing her.
    I sat there with my head tucked between my knees. Of the embarrassment and humility I couldn't even move.
"Hey, are you ok?" Victor asked me.
"Does it look like it?" I asked him.
     I looked up with tears in my eyes only to see him smiling at me. Something about his smile always cheered me up and my doubt for my happiness suddenly changed.
"Why are you smiling at me? I look ridiculous." I said half laughing half crying.
"Even when you're crying your beautiful too." He said.
     I looked at him in the eye. Never had a boy said such a beautiful thing to a girl, at the very least in my spectrum of life.
"John legend huh?" I asked him.
"For you, always." He smiled at me.
     I stood up as did he and we hugged longer than we ever had before. I miss those days...

6th grade

"You're a loser!" Thomas Aguinaldo shouted at Victor as he pushed him against the locker.
    I walked by the scene that was happening near Gena's locker and couldn't help but say something.
"Hey! Leave him alone!" I yelled as I pulled Thomas off the poor kid.
"Oh look who's come to save the day. It's your girlfriend Jessie!" He laughed as Victor fell down and teared up.
"I said leave him alone!" I yelled once again but this time pulled Thomas by the shirt and punched him hard in the chest. I had learned to fight the summer before with Blake.
"Ow!" Thomas screamed in pain as he left Victor and began running.
    Victor looked me with his sad eyes.
"Hey, are you ok?" I asked him.
   He shook his head, "do I look ok?" He asked me.
"Maybe not emotionally, but physically you look ok." I said to him.
     I held his small hands and lifted him up. He was smaller than me. I pulled him in for a friendly hug.
"It's gonna be ok." I said to him.
"I'm Victor." He said as he pulled away wiping some tears.
"Well hi Victor, I'm Jess." I said back.

     Me and Victor stayed after school at Bellwood high that day that Gena had hurt me. We ran around the bleachers and even tackled each other on the empty football field. I felt peace for the first time in a couple of weeks. After my big blowout with Gena, her and her friends would not leave me alone. At least I had Victor.
"One heck of a day huh?" Victor asked as we lay down side by side looking up at the almost dark sky.
"If you ask me." I said back.
    He rolled over and leaned on his side facing me. I did the same thing back.
"Did you ever want to be more than friends with somebody?" He asked me.
     I faced away in shock. What was he saying? Was he talking about me? Maybe he was just telling me about my obvious relationship with Greg who I've known for years.
"Uh, what do you mean?" I asked him.
"Like have you ever been such good friends with someone that maybe you felt you wanted to be more than what you are with them?" He asked.
"Maybe. I mean depending on the person." I answered.
"Sure." He said smiling at me.
     I was curious as to why he was acting this way. I turned to face him as he slowly began getting closer. What was going on? Did he really feel this way about me? I sat there still as he was getting closer. I didn't know if I felt this way about him. My phone vibrated in my pocket and I turned away quickly.
"Sorry let me take this." I said as I turned away from his disappointed look. He turned back to the sky.
"Hi mom." I answered the phone.
     We talked for a bit as Victor sat up slowly and kept looking up. I knew what I had done. I interrupted his chance of kissing me. I felt hurt that I had hurt him. I stood up as I hung up the phone.
"Well I guess I have to go now." I said to him.
"Yeah. Ok." He said as he stood up quickly with a grunt.
"I'm sorry I..."
"Save it Jess. It's fine." He said as he walked away.
"Victor.." I said back.
      He kept walking away. He didn't even turn back.